10 July, 2017

#30daysofbrave 16-18/30: Missed a few..

Day 16/30


Today, pay extra attention to simple tasks you do every day:

When you take a shower, notice how the water flows down your skin; notice the temperature, the pressure,  and the sounds of individual droplets.

When you are sitting, just as you are now, catch yourself slouching, sit up straight. Sit with alertness and intent. Take a deep breath, and let it all go.

When you get in bed tonight, listen to your heart. Just beat, after beat, after beat. Grateful it's always working hard to keep you alive even though you don't ask it to.
By staying focused during mundane tasks, we strengthen our willpower to focus on our larger goals.


"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new."



When I decide to give something my undivided attention, powerful emotions are created that inspire brave action. What's great is I always have complete control on where and how I direct my focus. Having a clear desired outcome and consistently focusing on it immediately changes my behavior, giving me the momentum I need to take daily actions that will lead to profound results.


  • Something I've achieved that I might have previously thought impossible …
  • Something or someone that will get 100% of my attention today …

At one time, I achieved almost 2 years without cutting and donated for the first time. It made me feel strong and accomplished. My folks made the 1 year anniversary very special and it made me realize how much my folks truly cared and loved me. I remember the tears of joy flowing that night... It was the kind of crying I only dreamed about. It was the kind of accomplishment that I thought I'd never reach.

Today I will put my attention into catching up with my missed days, doing art for my Gryphon Wing Series. I've fallen behind in this as well. Hopefully I can also work on a couple of stories, because I've not written in any of them in ages. I miss writing fantasy already... I don't feel like myself without the pen.

Day 17/30


Let your brave muscle repair and strengthen by reflecting and appreciating the daily small wins you've been accomplishing.


"There are days when it is very discouraging. You have to develop personal resilience to environmental things that come along. If you let every single environmental challenge knock you off your game, it's going to be very, very hard."



Sometimes I feel like when I take one step forward, I end up falling two steps back. What’s important in this situation is that I don't let these setbacks deter me from staying course and moving forward. I must remember that life moves in waves and it’s okay to have bad days, as long as I get back up and keep pressing ahead.


  • A recent moment that left me feeling scared and discouraged …
  • Reflecting on this moment, I see now that I grew from this challenging situation in the following way …
I was terrified when he blocked me. Humiliated, and ashamed. I rushed to another place to contact him asking him why.... He told me that he isn't very fond of me and didn't even like talking to me. What hurt the most was when I asked why he called me and he responded with "I didn't intend to, believe you me." Realizing that I was what's wrong, that just my presence was the problem, I broke down. It still affects me deeply...

But looking in hindsight, I will honestly say that I've grown to be myself, to release him and his texts. Doing this once again makes it harder to heal, because it seems I even pick at my spiritual sores, as I do with my physical. But knowing that he just doesn't like me helps me to let him go more.... 

Day 18/30


The next stranger that crosses your path,
ask them the first genuine question that comes to mind.


"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less."



My perception of the world and belief in what is possible is not limited by the interpretation of others. It is through direct experience that I develop a concrete understanding of my own reality. This develops a confidence at a cellular level that enables me to freely and courageously navigate any adventure. I know I might not find the answer or reach the destination I set out for, but this quest of inquiry will at least open myself up to a mystery that’s meant to be lived.


  • What assumed truth has fearfully prevented me from taking action?
  • What personal experience could give me a better understanding this fear?

"I am mentally impaired" Having my mental illness leaves me fairly shaken and held firm in my past, unable to walk forward. I often feel like my mental illness is what makes me a hex in my friendships and a black stain to my family. The confusion I feel and the inability to shake free from my mental illness has always left me ashamed to come outside and fearful of what might happen if I go outside.

I could imagine my mental illness as those weights in Mulan. I mean when they thought of it as a burden, it wouldn't allow them to retrieve the arrow at the top. When Mulan realized at almost the end that she needed to use the weights as a rope to climb upward, she finally reached the arrow. Instead of seeing my mental illness as a burden, I could use it as a way to climb.... and I try to, daily... but the past is always chasing me down.

Luceo non uro,

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