12 March, 2015

"When strength turns to crippled, I've learned to silence the world and listen"

The Lyrics In The Title Came From...

 

Convention, trip, highland games. oh my!

Well, today begins a homeschool covention in Greenville! So excited! I will definitely update you guys on that! Mum volunteered to help out tomorrow, so we're going for free! And in April, obviously there's Easter, we'll be doing what we normally do. Probably a Seder Meal, making our easter cookies, and decorating eggs! Then four days later, I'll be going up to Illinois to see my friends, Kindy, Mandie and Savvy! So excited 'bout that too! And with the highland games coming in May as well... I'm kinda overwhelmed by the excitement I have! hehe! xD Sooo... yeah!

The Ragamuffin Gospel [by Brennan Manning]

It's been difficult to put this book down, it's caught my heart just as much as the dailyaudiobible did in 2014. Through it, I see God differently, and as a companion to the bible readings, I have come to a new understanding of the grace and love of God. For so long, family, church friends, close friends and the not-so close friends, pastors and authors, singers, artists and theologians they said the same thing over and over and over. I didn't understand. It didn't pierce through immediately, it is being drilled it. But now it's been drilled in deeper through mental pictures, stories. It's being said differently. Not only said, but shown to my mind. Realizing how much God loves us all just through Creation... Holding the universe together, if He was not in any of this and He let go, we'd all fall apart and all of Creation with us. That's grace! The fact that it does rain, it does storm, that there is light and oxygen for us proclaims the grace of God. And it has been so fogged over for so long.

We tend to forget. We forget who we are in Christ. The very fact that He died the way He died, refusing anything that would dull the pain. He died the most humilating and excruciating death possible...and He took it all on full-force. He did not only suffer the physical agony, but also suffered the pain of betrayal. We, His creation, made in His Image...we betrayed Him and all He said was; "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." We forget the cost of our sins and the what price was given. We so easily become so numb to that fact. I am so drawn to this passion. So deeply in love with this God, this Man that sacrificed everything. I could stand here and talk about this all day and never grow tired of it, but I am so speechless about it by this point, now. All I can say is; Epic, radical, awesome is this God and this love He has for us
 
So, with the excitement and moving of the spirit, I just have become  a basket case of joy. Realizing that I am not so far as I thought. And knowing that I can't save myself or anyone else has become a comfort. Knowing that my past doesn't define me and that I am only human, a sinner has become what helps me to have peace. Knowing that God loves and accepts me as I am, and wants to mend this little raggedy and messed up girl's spirit, mind and body, give her life that begins in the now and continues onto eternity it humbles and stills me. If only I would always believe and know this, but as a human, I will turn away often from where my Help lies and try other avenues, it's the curse of the sinners. Soon, I shall be whole. And I look forward to that day!

Conclusion

Kinda at a hold in my writing. And I forgot to mention something in the last blogpost... I have created a new blog on faith. Also, changed my username on watty again. And I updated LIGHTforMI about coping skills [finally! lol!] So, yeah! I'm a wee bit scatterbrained lately... I'mma vanish now and bid thee all a farewell, have an amazing day y'all! Peace out!

10 March, 2015

"And we'll make our way back home; For the King is still on the throne!"

The Lyrics In The Title Came From...


Well, I have been away of late for a while, eh? Well, I don't really have an excuse for it, but I do have a reason... Been depressed for a bit. I allowed my past to kinda control my decisions. But I'm rising up again now.

A Ragamuffin Saint

So, lately it has been a difficult time, been feeling as though I am rotting away. It's weird, but I have pulled the response of the Israelites wishing they had died in Egypt or remained slaves... Whine, whine, whine, grumble and complain... I am certain that I very often make God as sickened from my dizzying mood swings and waywardness as much as I am certain I sicken myself, my family and friends...Sometimes I wonder very often if I am too much of a handful for my family and friends... I am certain that I am too much of a handful for myself... but I am just glad I am not too much for God!

God certainly hasn't given up on me, and for that I am very grateful. He's constantly calling out for me. Through the things I read, watch, write, and listen to. So I will not give up on myself anymore... Starting to pick back up the pieces of my shattered hopes and dreams and give them up to God once more... I now know that in believing in Christ's love, mercy and grace, that it isn't like how I thought it was... I don't say, "Jesus, come into my heart. Amen." and then suddenly have a holy upward spiral of success in the faith... It's not about having faith in Christ then you are magically and completely converted that moment and no longer have struggles with the same darned sin... It's about having faith in Christ and the continuous transformation and growth in faith. Being framed and reframed and reframed again until we come to Heaven. When we die and go up into paradise, that's when we our transformation will completed. As long as we breathe in this world, we will always be growing, we never stop!

Stuff that is happening....

I've been writing a lot lately... Of Love and Courage is somewhat popular amongst my fans and followers on Wattpad... I dunno if it really is that great, but many folks think it is... So, here you can be the judge of it.

I've also decided to be selling my service as a digital artist on fiverr! I'm hoping it will be a success... Today, I just started listening to Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning! It is good so far from what I have heard. It has a radical and earth-shattering message in it. So far, I'd say it is a good read and suggest it to others!

Conclusion

I'm trying to figure things out in my faith. Still trying to know where I stand. According to my parents, I will be trying to do this for a while... I am in the process of taking my faith as my own, still and so I am testing the waters. Prayers during this time, my brothers and sisters in Christ, would be much needed and appreciated... So, I'mma leave you with this question [one I will be pondering myself as well...] Do you believe that Jesus loves you? I mean really truly unconditionally... Do you live your life as if Jesus loves you no matter what you do, how you feel, where you're at etc.? Think on that and God bless you all;

"I wanna scream like it's never been said But mean it like a black tattoo"

The Lyrics In The Title Came From... Introduction Lots have happened since my last update. And I am excited by all of it! So, without...