"Darkness has no substance of its own"

So the past few days, I have been incredibly productive.  With my mental health sorta going really down after some incredibly unfortunate circumstances, I finally "snapped" and started on writing, a little bit every day in 4thewords.com, cleaning up my room, creating emojis for discord, and trying new games on steam. My goal is to get back into the swing of things with my creative pursuits, my ministries, and in my day-to-day life. I am also hoping to get back into community with others even if it is online so that I am more expanded and no longer focused on Tyvek and one discord server. I finally decided to cut Facebook out as I lost my temper and the camel broke its back after yet another case of toxic behaviour from a "friend" when I was coping with a harmless post during the time that my mother was in the ER, getting an intestinal surgery. After finally cutting it out save for messenger, I feel oh so much more healthier and calm. Shortly after my mum getting her surgery, my family friend, Marge died at 92 which truly made things harder for me to cope with. After nearly harming myself upon finding out because of my anger with myself for not visiting her on her last days, and not being able to cry until after the funeral, I decided it was time rise up and control what I could about my mental health. Starting by creating more, then working hard on my room by bagging the clothes in my room and setting a goal to wash 1 load per day.

Soon, we have to move out due to inability to afford anything in my hometown. And my ultimate goal is to live in a clean apartment and to pack things neatly by the time we have to. There are two ideas going around we are aiming foremost to move by September 2022. However there is a very very slight, not set-in-stone, barely a dusting idea that we may have to break lease and move sooner and if that is the case, I want my apartment to be in a flexible position where either could work and so I am working to clean, organize and try to pack at least one box per week and quicken the pace as the move draws nearer.  So firstly, I have cleaned by bagging clothes and started my first load of laundry and tomorrow, I intend on throwing the trash away to make things more cleanly. Otherwise, I've continued/pressed on with my algebra 1 in attempts to finish as soon as possible, ever so slowly. However, at the moment, I am simply practicing speed-thru math solutions in my head. Which is also incredibly difficult. Honestly I am hoping things will improve with my capacity to do mental math. Wish me well on that. To bootI have also been working on my health and went to see my OB GYN, had my sleep study and now am going for a sleep doctor checkup tomorrow and will update y'all on that as well! At the moment, not much else to update on except that I am hoping to be blogging more often. and that I shall be livestreaming and podcasting very soon, mostly on twitch. Look out for me on there and check my tiktok more often, friends! And may fair winds follow you and the Author guide you!

MY TWITCH HERE