tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53161832269492297322024-03-14T01:21:17.565-04:00The Peculiar Tales of a Ragamuffin Warrior PrincessHer passion and imagination was so vast and so wild, it came curling from the top of her head
~M.J. FAHEL MCKIMZEY |
I'm a brave ragamuffin princess raised in SC! Bookdragon, Blogger, Vlogger Scriptsmith, Artisan ,&; Bard for Christ. Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.comBlogger108125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-10666140874215482762021-09-20T19:54:00.007-04:002021-09-20T19:58:58.261-04:00"Darkness has no substance of its own"<div class="separator"><p style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/nSkNosdppR4" width="320" youtube-src-id="nSkNosdppR4"></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-u5UUJXKn4V0/YUka21px9GI/AAAAAAAAAfs/YlYRSxdhg2olMfp7IguHzgiDx-E5Y92mgCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/image1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-u5UUJXKn4V0/YUka21px9GI/AAAAAAAAAfs/YlYRSxdhg2olMfp7IguHzgiDx-E5Y92mgCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/image1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="text-align: left;">So the past few days, I have been incredibly productive. With my mental health sorta going really down after some incredibly unfortunate circumstances, I finally "snapped" and started on writing, a little bit every day in 4thewords.com, cleaning up my room, creating emojis for discord, and trying new games on steam. My goal is to get back into the swing of things with my creative pursuits, my ministries, and in my day-to-day life. I am also hoping to get back into community with others even if it is online so that I am more expanded and no longer focused on Tyvek and one discord server. I finally decided to cut Facebook out as I lost my temper and the camel broke its back after yet another case of toxic behaviour from a "friend" when I was coping with a harmless post during the time that my mother was in the ER, getting an intestinal surgery. After finally cutting it out save for messenger, I feel oh so much more healthier and calm. Shortly after my mum getting her surgery, my family friend, Marge died at 92 which truly made things harder for me to cope with. After nearly harming myself upon finding out because of my anger with myself for not visiting her on her last days, and not being able to cry until after the funeral, I decided it was time rise up and control what I could about my mental health. Starting by creating more, then working hard on my room by bagging the clothes in my room and setting a goal to wash 1 load per day.</div><p></p></div><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bMhXrWga8XA/YUka2ulpYMI/AAAAAAAAAf0/n6bDr4NXJ4kx3o5ISyUFypX4fwe05mimACPcBGAYYCw/s2048/image0%2B%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1145" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bMhXrWga8XA/YUka2ulpYMI/AAAAAAAAAf0/n6bDr4NXJ4kx3o5ISyUFypX4fwe05mimACPcBGAYYCw/w179-h320/image0%2B%25281%2529.jpg" width="179" /></a><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Z6KSSHvbshw/YUka06HcG0I/AAAAAAAAAfg/2gc8vRUyR5w1YCSeE3jhDmQIDvRL50gsQCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/image0%2B%25282%2529.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1537" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Z6KSSHvbshw/YUka06HcG0I/AAAAAAAAAfg/2gc8vRUyR5w1YCSeE3jhDmQIDvRL50gsQCLcBGAsYHQ/w240-h320/image0%2B%25282%2529.jpg" width="240" /></a><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7rONIA_yLvQ/YUka2Z2axOI/AAAAAAAAAfk/t9J4wN-Zqd82pBNBMqXB4fzPVUMhK4TxACLcBGAsYHQ/s390/2_2021-09-20-anthemrise.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="390" data-original-width="390" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7rONIA_yLvQ/YUka2Z2axOI/AAAAAAAAAfk/t9J4wN-Zqd82pBNBMqXB4fzPVUMhK4TxACLcBGAsYHQ/w320-h320/2_2021-09-20-anthemrise.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><p>Soon, we have to move out due to inability to afford anything in my hometown. And my ultimate goal is to live in a clean apartment and to pack things neatly by the time we have to. There are two ideas going around we are aiming foremost to move by September 2022. However there is a very very slight, not set-in-stone, barely a dusting idea that we may have to break lease and move sooner and if that is the case, I want my apartment to be in a flexible position where either could work and so I am working to clean, organize and try to pack at least one box per week and quicken the pace as the move draws nearer. So firstly, I have cleaned by bagging clothes and started my first load of laundry and tomorrow, I intend on throwing the trash away to make things more cleanly. Otherwise, I've continued/pressed on with my algebra 1 in attempts to finish as soon as possible, ever so slowly. However, at the moment, I am simply practicing speed-thru math solutions in my head. Which is also incredibly difficult. Honestly I am hoping things will improve with my capacity to do mental math. Wish me well on that. To bootI have also been working on my health and went to see my OB GYN, had my sleep study and now am going for a sleep doctor checkup tomorrow and will update y'all on that as well! At the moment, not much else to update on except that I am hoping to be blogging more often. and that I shall be livestreaming and podcasting very soon, mostly on twitch. Look out for me on there and check my tiktok more often, friends! And may fair winds follow you and the Author guide you!</p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.twitch.tv/thegryphonwing" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="1334" height="225" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PmYAsANKRSk/YUka3zQ7oII/AAAAAAAAAfw/IUIGyLeeCJQIoh5ThZ2iOI7EMXaIutpbACLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h225/image2.png" title="TWITCH" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.twitch.tv/thegryphonwing" target="_blank">MY TWITCH HERE</a></div><p></p>Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06389154429267032458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-77941323026000824462018-02-05T03:26:00.000-05:002018-02-06T01:19:24.805-05:00"I wanna scream like it's never been said But mean it like a black tattoo"<h3 style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The Lyrics In The Title Came From...</h3>
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<h3>
Introduction</h3>
Lots have happened since my last update. And I am excited by all of it! So, without further ado... The NEWSFLASH!<br />
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<h3>
Moved! Now to get settled in...</h3>
We got pretty much everything in the apartment! (If you want to know more about it visit the links below:)<br />
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The Daily Struggle 2018</div>
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<b><u>Day 34/365 </u></b></div>
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<a href="https://instagram.com/p/Be2BhcdFx9d/">(Part One)</a></div>
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<a href="https://instagram.com/p/Be2BoYcFleo/">(Part Two)</a></div>
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<a href="https://instagram.com/p/Be2Bs_LlUqQ/">(Part Three)</a></div>
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<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
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<b><u>Day 35/365 </u></b></div>
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<a href="https://instagram.com/p/Be2ByxulMC3/">(Part One)</a></div>
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<a href="https://instagram.com/p/Be2B4WGFVqP/">(Part Two)</a></div>
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All I really have to do now, though, is unpack and settle in. I set up the Xbox 360 (and updated it), set up the wi-fi, and a Netflix account that we all are pitching in for. Each us providing no more than $2.66 each.<br />
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<h3>
20 days 'til I'm halfway there</h3>
Like I said above I'll be hitting my half-year mark in 20 days! Which, to me, is a huge accomplishment!<br />
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<b>Urge level (0 =none at all 5 =highest it has been yet): </b>0</div>
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<b>Self harm: </b>160 days clean</div>
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<b>1 MONTH (30 DAYS) MARK HIT 09/27/2017 ☑️</b></div>
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<b>2 MONTH (60 DAYS) MARK HIT 10/27/2017 ☑️</b></div>
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<b>3 MONTH (90 DAYS) MARK HIT 11/27/2017 ☑️</b></div>
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<b>4 MONTH (120 DAYS) MARK HIT 12/27/2017 ☑️</b></div>
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<b>5 MONTH (150 DAYS) MARK HIT 01/27/2018 ☑️</b></div>
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<i>6 MONTH (180 DAYS) MARK HIT 02/27/2018</i></div>
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<i>7 MONTH (210 DAYS) MARK HIT 03/29/2018</i></div>
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<i>8 MONTH (240 DAYS) MARK HIT 04/28/2018</i></div>
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<i>9 MONTH MARK HIT (270) 05/28/2018</i></div>
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<i>10 MONTH (300 DAYS) MARK HIT 06/27/2018</i></div>
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<i>11 MONTH (330 DAYS) MARK HIT 07/27/2018</i></div>
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<i>12 MONTH (360 DAYS) MARK HIT 08/28/2018</i></div>
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<i>1 YEAR (365 DAYS) MARK HIT 09/03/2018</i></div>
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<span style="font-weight: 700;"><br /></span></div>
<b></b><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><b>TIME CLEAN BEFORE MY LAST RELAPSE:</b> 28 days</b></div>
<b> </b><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b> LONGEST CLEAN: </b>1 year 7 months 2 weeks and 2 days clean</div>
<h3>
<br />Conclusion</h3>
Welp, I unpacked the kitchen today and helped in other ways. and I plan to start unpacking my bedroom tomorrow and getting maintenance over to get some things fixed in the apartment. Otherwise, just been chilling and enjoying my time with 5 mammals instead of 9 lolz! Peacin' on out mon! Good day to ye all!<br />
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<br />Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-21216545523895682362018-01-25T00:41:00.001-05:002018-01-25T00:41:50.052-05:00"With eyes wide open Ooh Ooh Ooh Won't let fear hold my heart back This is my resolution Won't follow the ghosts of my past"<h3>
The Lyrics In The Title Came From... </h3>
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<h3>
Introduction</h3>
Well I know it's way late for my New Years' post.... but HELLUU 2018!!! 2017 was a hell of a year... and when I say that... it isn't positive. Whew.... Since it's completely behind me, and it is no longer news.... I am willing to open up about a few harsh points of 2017 that I didn't say for a longer time....<br />
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<h3>
Arrested</h3>
Yes, you read that right... I was arrested. Phewy... I did something I truly regret and shoplifted. Was taken to jail and endured a week there, and from then on, I resolved to never do that again. But the full year was spent doing PTI and working to clear my name. From December-January 15th I crunched in a lot of hours for community service, plus yesterday I did my last step and did my drug test.... And now it's all behind me.<br />
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<h3>
Review of 2017...</h3>
God has been there for us in ways I can't describe... But now that 2017 is over, I can't help but be glad.... You all know that I was kicked out of Merge in January 2017, you all know that through my depression during the past few months, I was cut off by Eli, and my shame from being arrested and the shame from Merge weighed me down considerably and I needed extra help from friends but was unable to get it... Eli couldn't take it. And soon afterward, I would have lost Savannah too, for being unable to give her the help she needed, which she thought was selfishness... but it was just being too weak and burdened with my family, the work and shame of jail, and other important issues that went on and that's what ended the friendship.<br />
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I understand that her baby had died and she was fighting with her own legal stuff with her living children and trying to bring them back home.... but that isn't a reason to accuse her best and closest friend of selfishness when she also is weak from her own fight. Anyhow, my father and I have had a horrid time at it, thus we have worked to get me out of the house, with my roommate, Suzanne (who returned after a bad situation in South Africa, which I'm glad for). Well, now, after his own abuse, and fight mental and spiritual war, Aric will, too, be my roommate. Which helps all three of us at once (not to mention, my mum, daddy, and Aneira will finally have the place to themselves with our new cat, Sebastian)<br />
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<h3>
Cats, kittens, and no more please!</h3>
First off, lemme tell ye I absolutely love cats. And they will always be my favorite pets. But, there's gotta be a line. I'm turning into my Aunt Julie! lolz! So, first of all Suzanne and I were outdoors, hanging out in the screened-in porch... and we heard a meow. Turning around, I saw this cute little black and white kitten (perhaps a few months old) right through the screen who was crying for help. Mind you, by this time it's winter and this poor baby was completely abandoned. I opened the screen door and he ran around the porch to the door and leapt in my arms as if I were his mama. And started kneading muffins on my chest. Later, we were preparing to take him to the humane society but it was night and Friday, which meant we'd have to wait for two days... by the time it was time to take him though, he melted the entire family's heart and stayed. Beorn and Kaitra didn't like it very much, but such is life.<br />
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Within weeks, though Beorn passed away. Breaking the heart of everyone in the house.... It was quick and out of nowhere. He collapsed and we had to rush him to the vet, but were too late. (RIP 11/16/2017 </3 :'( ) Sebastian (our new kitty) helped fill the void, left behind by Beorn which was a wonderful thing we were given by God's mercies. Something we didn't have when Galadrial had to be put down....<br />
<br />
Later, however, Suzanne and I were, again, hanging out on the screened-in porch and we heard a loud meow and cry. This time, it came from clear across the street and way into a school's ground. We ran over there and there was a small ginger kitten, barely old enough to be separated from his mother (5 weeks maybe). I called daddy and we prepared to take him to the humane society... but something else came up.... it happened to be December 23rd... and nighttime, so we'd have to wait three days... but this time he melted up Suzanne's heart and now he's coming with us. Which is very good for both of them. I haven't seen her so happy in a long time <3<br />
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<h3>
Place Found, Date Chosen</h3>
So now, we found a great refurbished 3-bedroom apartment for $1100. And the things that come with living there are awesome! (A fitness center, bark park, walking trail, on-site managment, car care center, pool, courtyard, on-site maintenance, fire pit, laundry facilities, outdoor kitchen recycling, bbq/picnic area, bike racks, playground, business center, and clubhouse.)<br />
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We also are gonna move there Feb. 3rd! So nine more days until my new life and freedom! I also think once I finish moving in there, I will finish up my last subject in homeschool.... That is my Algebra 1. So, soon I truly WILL get a new page. And I will work to keep it that way!<br />
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<h3>
Conclusion</h3>
With all that said, I'd like to request that y'all go visit <a href="http://www.instagram.com/lightformi/">LIGHTforMI's Instagram</a> to see daily updates to my life. It's gonna be a great time, I believe!<br />
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Well, that's it! This is Ari Fab-in' out!<br />
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Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-29512270831216571632017-07-17T17:16:00.000-04:002017-07-17T17:16:05.192-04:00#30daysofbrave Taking a Break<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">As the title suggests, I shall be taking a break from this challenge but will pick up as soon as I can.</span></div>
Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-88877679213989107652017-07-14T00:55:00.001-04:002019-01-05T16:37:34.466-05:00#30daysofbrave 20-22/30: Missed a couple days, again....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<h3>
TODAY'S BRAVE ACT</h3>
Commit to one uncomfortable conversation today.<br />
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Feeling out of place? Don't worry, the other person is too.<br />
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<h3>
INSPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY</h3>
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"And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt."<br />
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<b>- SYLVIA PLATH</b><br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION</h3>
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I am eager to invite others to take part in my brave adventure because though it all, memories and goals are much more satisfying when savored. From best friends to complete strangers, I listen sincerely because each perspective brings its own unique value. An attitude of understanding removes limiting barriers and allows for mutual constructive growth. I always seek to recognize the potential in others and will encourage them in their own brave intentions.<br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPTS</h3>
<ul>
<li>What conversation do I need to have that I’ve been putting off?</li>
<li>What am I scared of that has prevented me from having this conversation?</li>
</ul>
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I feel as though I need to confront my old pastor, if not for my sake, for the next poor soul who wanders in there with similar issues as mine. He hasn't been acting Christ-like even if he was intending to be Christ-like and kind in his actions.<br />
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I'm scared that I might be in the wrong and may be treated with contempt. As I hate confronting others after conflict. It frightens me to be hurt again by words or tones. And if I was in the wrong... it would not have been worth while....<br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S BRAVE ACT</h3>
Be vulnerably brave to ask someone for help that has already done what you're trying to do.<br />
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<h3>
INSPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY</h3>
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"We should be inspired by people... who show that human beings can be kind, brave, generous, beautiful, strong-even in the most difficult circumstances."<br />
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<b>- RACHEL CORRIE</b><br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION</h3>
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Taking that brave step forward may be scary, but it doesn't have to be a mystery. There are other's who have already climbed the mountains and taken the steps I want to take. More often than not, these mentors are honored to share how they did it and what they would've done differently. I will be brave today by asking for help.<br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPTS</h3>
<br />
<ul>
<li>I would like more guidance in the following area:</li>
<li>Someone who I can reach out to today to ask for help with this:</li>
</ul>
<div>
I would like more guidance in doing my artwork. Especially in Celtic artwork. I truly wish to reach all ends of my heart and passion through art, and my heritage is such a deep passion of mine. I could remind my father as he is learning the same thing and also aims to teach my sister and myself.</div>
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<h3>
TODAY'S BRAVE ACT</h3>
Gratitude may be perceived as a useful emotion for a greater well being[1], but few people seek it out consciously.<br />
<br />
Today, set 3 gratitude alarms to go off at random times during today. As they alarm, stop whatever it is your doing and bring to mind 3 things you’re grateful for in that moment :)<br />
If you'd like to deeply feel the power of gratitude in 5 minutes, try this 5 minute gratitude meditation.<br />
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<h3>
INSPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY</h3>
"When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears."<br />
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<b>- TONY ROBBINS</b><br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION</h3>
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Fear is why I don’t take action on my intentions and anger is why I get stuck. Choosing to be grateful, however, even if only for a few moments, transforms my perspective of fear and anger to appreciation and contentment. I remind myself that it is impossible to be fearful while being grateful at the same time. Gratitude then, is my ultimate go-to tool for navigating bravely through the journey ahead.<br />
<h3>
<br /> TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPTS</h3>
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<h3>
<br /><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-weight: normal;">Something I can see in my environment that brings me joy … </span></li>
<li><span style="font-weight: normal;">A recent coincidence that left me with a smile … </span></li>
<li><span style="font-weight: normal;">A person I am blessed to have in my life right now …</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></span>
-Daddy allowed me to have his altar in my room, recently, It has always brought me comfort throughout my life. And with it in my room, inspiration, comfort and joy. It's my favorite piece of work that he did that I hope he will allow me to move out with.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">-I was put in the right place and right time today, when walking to drop off a prescription at home, today. Where a mother and her two-year-old was waiting in the heat for a taxi ride that kept them waiting for an entire hour. She had no phone connection and needed to pick up her other baby at 8-months from daycare and the time window was shrinking. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">I overheard her talking to herself about having no vehicle was a struggle and I struck conversation, with her that I knew how it was. Then I ended up learning she was new in town and had nobody there that she knew, I gave her my number and ended up lending the use of my phone, keeping tabs on her 2-year-old and waiting with her until her ride arrived.</span></span><br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: normal;">-In this time, life has been rough on us both. She has lost her children due to a series of very unfortunate events and I have been cast out of church, losing friends, and struggling family issues. But, I am blessed so to have my best friend, even in these times. I would never have gotten this far without her...
</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">Luceo non uro,</span><br />
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</h3>
Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-70272507274240813422017-07-10T23:54:00.001-04:002019-01-05T16:37:06.587-05:00#30daysofbrave 19/30: "Every day is a new beginning. Treat it that way. Stay away from what might have been and look at what can be."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<h2>
Day 19/30</h2>
<h3>
TODAY'S BRAVE ACT</h3>
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In a moment of misery, crack a smile.<br />
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<br />
To prep yourself for this moment, try to force a giggle—maybe even a full-on belly laugh right now :)<br />
Being optimistic is a choice.<br />
<h3>
<br />INSPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY</h3>
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<br />
"Every day is a new beginning. Treat it that way. Stay away from what might have been and look at what can be."<br />
<br />
<b>- MARSHA PETRIE SUE</b><br />
<h3>
<br />TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION</h3>
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As I encounter fear and opposition, I will greet it with an extra degree of kindness and care. I will let the curve of my smile grow into every negative thought and emotion. Navigating difficulty in this positive light turns obstacles into opportunities and empowers me to press on courageously.<br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPTS</h3>
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When things inevitably don’t go my way today, I will use optimism to overcome adversity by responding in the following way …<br />
<br />
I'll say to myself; "Moment to moment and step by step, I'll carry on. Each day is a new day. Each minute a new minute. In these moments that grief is weighing me down, I shall look beyond it to the light." Because the truth is that we will not always feel this way.<br />
<br />
I'll find beauty in something each day and soon, will blog about it. I'll make art out of my tears. Anything to bring beauty through the ashes. It's more than optimism, this is joy. It's more than happiness it's hope.<br />
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Luceo non uro,<br />
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<br />Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-37760496453017533062017-07-10T00:54:00.002-04:002019-01-05T16:36:47.128-05:00#30daysofbrave 16-18/30: Missed a few..<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<h2>
Day 16/30</h2>
<h3>
TODAY'S BRAVE ACT</h3>
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Today, pay extra attention to simple tasks you do every day:<br />
<br />
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When you take a shower, notice how the water flows down your skin; notice the temperature, the pressure, and the sounds of individual droplets.<br />
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<br />
When you are sitting, just as you are now, catch yourself slouching, sit up straight. Sit with alertness and intent. Take a deep breath, and let it all go.<br />
<br />
<br />
When you get in bed tonight, listen to your heart. Just beat, after beat, after beat. Grateful it's always working hard to keep you alive even though you don't ask it to.<br />
By staying focused during mundane tasks, we strengthen our willpower to focus on our larger goals.<br />
<h3>
<br />INSPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY</h3>
"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new."<br />
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<b>- SOCRATES</b><br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION</h3>
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When I decide to give something my undivided attention, powerful emotions are created that inspire brave action. What's great is I always have complete control on where and how I direct my focus. Having a clear desired outcome and consistently focusing on it immediately changes my behavior, giving me the momentum I need to take daily actions that will lead to profound results.<br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPTS</h3>
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<h3>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-weight: normal;">Something I've achieved that I might have previously thought impossible …</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-weight: normal;">Something or someone that will get 100% of my attention today …</span></li>
</ul>
</h3>
<br />
At one time, I achieved almost 2 years without cutting and donated for the first time. It made me feel strong and accomplished. My folks made the 1 year anniversary very special and it made me realize how much my folks truly cared and loved me. I remember the tears of joy flowing that night... It was the kind of crying I only dreamed about. It was the kind of accomplishment that I thought I'd never reach.<br />
<br />
Today I will put my attention into catching up with my missed days, doing art for my Gryphon Wing Series. I've fallen behind in this as well. Hopefully I can also work on a couple of stories, because I've not written in any of them in ages. I miss writing fantasy already... I don't feel like myself without the pen.<br />
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<h2>
<br />Day 17/30</h2>
<h3>
TODAY'S BRAVE ACT</h3>
Let your brave muscle repair and strengthen by reflecting and appreciating the daily small wins you've been accomplishing.<br />
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<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
<br />INSPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY</h3>
<br />
"There are days when it is very discouraging. You have to develop personal resilience to environmental things that come along. If you let every single environmental challenge knock you off your game, it's going to be very, very hard."<br />
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<b>- RENEE JAMES</b><br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION</h3>
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Sometimes I feel like when I take one step forward, I end up falling two steps back. What’s important in this situation is that I don't let these setbacks deter me from staying course and moving forward. I must remember that life moves in waves and it’s okay to have bad days, as long as I get back up and keep pressing ahead.<br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPTS</h3>
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<br /></div>
<ul>
<li>A recent moment that left me feeling scared and discouraged …</li>
<li>Reflecting on this moment, I see now that I grew from this challenging situation in the following way …</li>
</ul>
<div>
I was terrified when he blocked me. Humiliated, and ashamed. I rushed to another place to contact him asking him why.... He told me that he isn't very fond of me and didn't even like talking to me. What hurt the most was when I asked why he called me and he responded with "I didn't intend to, believe you me." Realizing that I was what's wrong, that just my presence was the problem, I broke down. It still affects me deeply...</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But looking in hindsight, I will honestly say that I've grown to be myself, to release him and his texts. Doing this once again makes it harder to heal, because it seems I even pick at my spiritual sores, as I do with my physical. But knowing that he just doesn't like me helps me to let him go more.... </div>
<div>
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<h2>
Day 18/30</h2>
<h3>
TODAY'S BRAVE ACT</h3>
The next stranger that crosses your path,<br />
ask them the first genuine question that comes to mind.<br />
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<h3>
INSPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY</h3>
<br />
"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less."<br />
<br />
<b>- MARIE CURIE</b><br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION</h3>
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My perception of the world and belief in what is possible is not limited by the interpretation of others. It is through direct experience that I develop a concrete understanding of my own reality. This develops a confidence at a cellular level that enables me to freely and courageously navigate any adventure. I know I might not find the answer or reach the destination I set out for, but this quest of inquiry will at least open myself up to a mystery that’s meant to be lived.<br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPTS</h3>
<h3>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-weight: normal;">What assumed truth has fearfully prevented me from taking action?</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-weight: normal;">What personal experience could give me a better understanding this fear?</span></li>
</ul>
</h3>
<div>
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<div>
"I am mentally impaired" Having my mental illness leaves me fairly shaken and held firm in my past, unable to walk forward. I often feel like my mental illness is what makes me a hex in my friendships and a black stain to my family. The confusion I feel and the inability to shake free from my mental illness has always left me ashamed to come outside and fearful of what might happen if I go outside.<br />
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I could imagine my mental illness as those weights in Mulan. I mean when they thought of it as a burden, it wouldn't allow them to retrieve the arrow at the top. When Mulan realized at almost the end that she needed to use the weights as a rope to climb upward, she finally reached the arrow. Instead of seeing my mental illness as a burden, I could use it as a way to climb.... and I try to, daily... but the past is always chasing me down.<br />
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Luceo non uro,<br />
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Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-52926935942803402472017-07-07T00:48:00.002-04:002019-01-05T16:36:08.316-05:00#30daysofbrave 15/30: "It's not the lack of resources, it's your lack of resourcefulness that stops you"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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TODAY'S BRAVE ACT</h3>
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Draw a scene of yourself 15 days from now, succeeding in your 30-Day challenge.<br />
Note what emotions arise as you doodle your braver, successful self.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bNSBStL8JVQ/WV8P0wOk7EI/AAAAAAAAhwg/zGWDMs9hFnoZXWSc1967RwM3uTZGEOVfgCLcBGAs/s1600/bravery.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="602" data-original-width="568" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bNSBStL8JVQ/WV8P0wOk7EI/AAAAAAAAhwg/zGWDMs9hFnoZXWSc1967RwM3uTZGEOVfgCLcBGAs/s400/bravery.jpg" width="376" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">This would be me being myself without thought of anyone who disagrees with my lifestyle</span></td></tr>
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<h3>
INSPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY</h3>
"It's not the lack of resources, it's your lack of resourcefulness that stops you"<br />
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<b>- TONY ROBBINS</b><br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION</h3>
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My ability to appreciate and contribute does not depend on my access to resources. The fact that I'm using this journal is proof that I have recognized a need in myself and had the resourcefulness to acquire tools to help take me where I want to go. I will continue to listen to to the needs, beliefs, and emotions that are controlling me so I can develop further confidence in my journey forward.<br />
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</h3>
<h3>
<br /> TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPTS</h3>
<h3>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-weight: normal;">What resources would help me flourish in my 30 Day Challange? (e.g. money, time, information, training, technology, people)</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-weight: normal;">What emotions can I develop to elicit more of those resources? (e.g. creativity, curiosity, determination, love, enthusiasm, honesty) </span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-weight: normal;">I have been using Habitica.com as a reminder to do my challenges, Gimp as a way to create art along with Artweaver, and as a way to inspire me, I use iTunes to motivate me.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">I f I could develop my confidence in this time I do believe I could finish my challenge with flying colours.</span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">Luceo non uro,</span></div>
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</h3>
Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-39393504373467904792017-07-06T01:37:00.000-04:002019-01-05T16:35:36.391-05:00#30daysofbrave 12-14/30: Missed a couple of days...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<h2>
Day 12/30</h2>
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<h3>
TODAY'S BRAVE ACT</h3>
Say 'no' to a pending invitation or opportunity that would get in the way of your current 30-day goal.<br />
<br />
If you can, decide right now what you will say 'no' to today so you are prepared when the time comes to share your decision.<br />
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<span style="color: red;">(I have no pending invitations or opportunities as of this time)</span><br />
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<h3>
INSPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY</h3>
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"Often the difference between a successful person and a failure is not one's better abilities or ideas, but the courage that one has to bet on his ideas, to take a calculated risk, and to act."<br />
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<b>- MAXWELL MALTZ</b><br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION</h3>
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Any brave adventure can be broken down into a series of calculated risks. So the more diligent I am in calculating each risky decision, the more prepared I am to prevent the worst from happening. In turn, I have more clarity and confidence to take that next brave step forward.<br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPTS</h3>
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<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-weight: normal;">I've been unable to move forward with …</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-weight: normal;">Unknowns that make me hesitant to proceed …</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-weight: normal;">One simple thing I can do now to gain clarity on the path forward …</span></li>
</ul>
</h3>
Lately I have been unable to move forward with standing up for myself because I have, myself felt not worth standing up for. I've felt as though I am meaningless.<br />
<br />
I feel as though the unknowing of whether I even fit in with Christ's plan makes it hard to want to proceed in even life. It makes things difficult to rise up especially after being cast out, again... from the fellowship of His people. Thus, I isolate myself and am unwilling to face the fear of abandonment, betrayal and being hurt again.<br />
<br />
I need only to simply rise out of bed, and face the fear, head on. Go into it, with confidence and enter. I need only to go out there to have clarity in this time. But the question is when and if it will happen.<br />
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<h2>
Day 13/30:</h2>
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<h3>
TODAY'S BRAVE ACT</h3>
<div>
Define the one thing you can do every day, no matter what, that will help you achieve your 30-day goal.</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Create at least one piece of art.</li>
<li>Eat at appropriate times, and normal helpings</li>
<li>Treat myself with dignity (hygiene)</li>
</ul>
</div>
<h3>
INSPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY</h3>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible."</div>
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</div>
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<b>- FRANCIS OF ASSISI</b></div>
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<h3>
TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION</h3>
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What are the chances that I will get what I want without going after it? Slim to none. When I’m acting from a place of ambition, I’m guaranteed some form of success. I will live up to my potential by taking the initiative to take that brave step towards what I really want.</div>
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<h3>
TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPTS</h3>
<div>
<ul>
<li>If I wasn't able to succeed in my 30-day goal what might be the biggest reason?</li>
<li>I can mitigate the risk of that happening by doing the following …</li>
</ul>
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<div>
The biggest reason that I'd not succeed in my 30-day goal is falling deep into my depression and giving up hope. The only reason I never finished any challenges was because of this... </div>
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<div>
I could take 15 minutes out of my day to myself and focus on the challenge. Setting a time specifically for doing my challenge. Which would most likely be at 2PM. I think this action would be the best solution.</div>
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<h2>
Day 14/30</h2>
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<h3>
TODAY'S BRAVE ACT</h3>
<div>
Choose one of the determined micro-challenges:</div>
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Remember, it is in the small, seemingly insignificant things that we begin to flex our brave muscle and adopt new normals.</div>
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<h3>
INSPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY</h3>
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<div>
"A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work."</div>
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<b>- COLIN POWELL</b></div>
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<h3>
TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION</h3>
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My lot in life has been determined by the actions I have and haven't taken. Today, I will do what I know needs to be done to accomplish what I’ve set out to achieve. I have the will and skill to fight through resistance. To understand the fears that I encounter, not run from them, and in turn, I will overcome them.</div>
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<h3>
TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPTS</h3>
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<div>
<ul>
<li>What has previously interfered with my ability to perform? (e.g. limiting beliefs, values, people, systems, etc)</li>
<li>Which of these are external limitations, and which are internal?</li>
</ul>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I would say what has interfered with my ability to perform most is that my mind is stuck, like a broken record, playing and replaying the same thing. I am chained to my past and this keeps me from moving past many things. Not to mention there has been a lot of people and situations that do not make it any easier. My heart is deeply broken.</div>
</div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Most of my issues are internal, however, speedy days and constant exhaustion makes it difficult as well. But most is the inward pain of life. The normalities of living.</div>
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<div>
Luceo non uro,</div>
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Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-41037891667127427182017-07-03T02:12:00.001-04:002019-01-05T16:34:55.683-05:00#30daysofbrave 11/30: "Compassion is the courage to descend into the reality of human experience."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ATZhSTrYklg/WVnftAnY9SI/AAAAAAAAhuU/zZS-jYsPXXw2UlRKTyUuXAwyaHwmUWZjgCLcBGAs/s1600/11-30.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="287" data-original-width="707" height="161" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ATZhSTrYklg/WVnftAnY9SI/AAAAAAAAhuU/zZS-jYsPXXw2UlRKTyUuXAwyaHwmUWZjgCLcBGAs/s400/11-30.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<h2>
</h2>
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<h2>
</h2>
<h2>
Day 11/30</h2>
<h3>
TODAY'S BRAVE ACT</h3>
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<br /></div>
Think of a situation in your life that is difficult, that is causing you stress. Bring the situation to mind, and see if you can actually feel the stress and emotional discomfort in your body.<br />
<br />
Now, say to yourself:<br />
<br />
"This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is a part of life. I will treat this suffering with compassion and kindness."<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
<h3>
INSPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY </h3>
"Compassion is the courage to descend into the reality of human experience."<br />
<br />
<b>- PAUL GILBERT</b><br />
<br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION</h3>
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<br />
<h3>
TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPTS</h3>
Write a note to yourself from the perspective of an unconditionally loving imaginary friend:<br />
<br />
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<br />
Dear Ari, I know you've been hurt in places that should be safe. I know you have been cast out. Left, abandoned and betrayed. I know these things bring an aching and an emptiness to your heart. I know you've been hurt again recently. Life isn't treating you well. But I know you will overcome these trials. There is beauty in pain. This isn't your fault. It is their loss. You did nothing wrong. So wear your scars fearlessly. Rise up from the ashes and dust yourself off and carry on. I believe in you. I will be cheering you on. Take heart, have courage, keep the faith, dahling.<br />
<br />
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Luceo non uro,</div>
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<br />Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-13496585996577065242017-07-02T03:29:00.002-04:002019-01-05T16:34:32.027-05:00#30daysofbrave 10/30: "You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<h2>
Day 10/30:</h2>
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<h3>
TODAY'S BRAVE ACT</h3>
DONE.<br />
<h4>
<b><u>12:09AM</u></b></h4>
<br />
<b>Ari</b><br />
Today's brave act is to:<br />
<br />
Ask three consecutive 'whys' to someone today.<br />
<br />
By asking WHY three times we go beyond the surface-level habitual responses and get to the real root of a question or problem.<br />
or.... yesterday's, now<br />
lolz<br />
as it is 12am<br />
but can I ask you?<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Savannah</b><br />
Sure<br />
<br />
<b>Ari</b><br />
gimme a moment, doing these challenges get harder and harder each day.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Savannah</b><br />
Haha<br />
<br />
<b>Ari</b><br />
xP<br />
first one will be why do you think I struggle so hard with forgiving myself?<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Savannah</b><br />
I think it's because you have low self esteem<br />
<br />
<b>Ari</b><br />
why do you think low self esteem is such a relevant issue in my life?<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Savannah</b><br />
I think it's because you've been emotionally abused by a lot of people starting with your biological father. And depression plays a huge part in that as well<br />
<br />
<b>Ari</b><br />
then lastly, why, as in what is the greatest obstacle I face which stops me from overcoming this flaw of mine?<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Savannah</b><br />
Moving out of your parents house.<br />
I feel your daddy is constantly criticizing you unnecessarily and it makes you worse.<br />
<br />
<b>Ari</b><br />
he, too, thinks I'll grow more, once I move out<br />
<br />
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<h3>
INSPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY</h3>
<br />
"You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."<br />
<br />
<b>- ANDRE GIDE</b><br />
<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span><br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION</h3>
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<h3>
<br />TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPTS</h3>
<br />
<ul>
<li>A recent fear that I would like to overcome …</li>
<li>Why does this fear make me feel scared and uncomfortable?</li>
<li>Why does matter to me that I overcome this fear?</li>
<li>Why have I been previously been unable to overcome this fear? </li>
</ul>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The fear of letting go and trusting. It weighs me down in my spiritual growth.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Trusting people and the Lord requires to face the unknown. It also require to let go of what I want to believe to be true. It requires facing and letting go of memories of being let down by the very people one would think you could trust.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It matters to me that I overcome this, because I don't want to be held back anymore. I want to trust God some much that my confidence is in Him alone. I wanna get on with my life without always limping spiritually.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Each time I try to overcome this fear, though, something happens to trip me up and I give up. When I rise enough, to walk, someone else betrays me, another person abandons me, someone strikes an unhealed wound, and I'm hiding again...</div>
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Luceo non uro,</div>
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Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-83234812611263843042017-06-30T16:43:00.003-04:002019-01-05T16:33:38.914-05:00#30daysofbrave 9/30: "To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<h2>
Day 9/30:</h2>
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<br /></div>
<h3>
TODAY'S BRAVE ACT</h3>
What have you struggled with most during this 30-day challenge?<br />
<br />
Today, be courageously vulnerable by openly sharing this weakness with a friend.<br />
<br />
Bonus: Watch Brene Brown's talk on <a href="http://intentioninspired.us14.list-manage.com/track/click?u=1cced2ae3a070443865a9bd4b&id=74107e9897&e=1b92c50934">The Power of Vulnerability</a> (20 mins)<br />
<br />
<h3>
INSPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY</h3>
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<br />
<br />
"To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength."<br />
<br />
<b>- CRISS JAMI</b><br />
<br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION</h3>
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<h3>
TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPTS</h3>
<div>
<br /></div>
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<div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<ul>
<li>A weakness that I’m struggling with …</li>
<li>Today, I will be courageously vulnerable by sharing my weakness with the following person …</li>
</ul>
<br />
I am still struggling with standing up for myself and facing the fear of rejection. In order to learn to stand for myself, I feel that I must realize that I am worth standing up for. It takes a lot to get there, however. I must come to terms with being who I am. The steps I am taking to do that is forgiving my biological father, being at peace with being his daughter, learning to honour God's decision to create me through him, letting go of the bitterness and fear of being abandonned, and learning to not judge myself by who my father is. I think, then I'll be able to stand up for myself both against myself and others. however, last night I already was vulnerable about it with another friend. But I can be vulnerable about it once more with my friend, Savannah. May fair winds follow you all and the Author guide you!<br />
<br />
Luceo non uro,<br />
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<br />Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-91604012224483950992017-06-29T19:34:00.001-04:002019-01-05T16:33:15.004-05:00#30daysofbrave 7-8/30: well whoops....Gawsh I missed a day, yesterday. So I need to catch up and do both challenges today. So without further ado....<br />
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<h2>
Day 7/30:</h2>
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<br /></div>
<h3>
TODAY'S BRAVE ACT</h3>
<br />
1. Raise your hands in the air.<br />
<br />
2. Breathe into this power stance, own it.<br />
<br />
3. Then audibly declare:<br />
"I am the hero of my own story!"<br />
<h3>
<br />INSPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY:</h3>
"If you are not the hero of your own story, then you're missing the whole point of your humanity."<br />
<br />
<b>- STEVE MARABOLI</b><br />
<br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION</h3>
<br />
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<h3>
<br /><br />TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPTS</h3>
<br />
<ul>
<li>If my life was a movie and it started today, what would the hero do?</li>
<li>What old routines and patterns would the hero break?</li>
<li>What new habits would the hero replace those old habits with?</li>
</ul>
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She would take each day as it comes. One step at a time to be the best person she can be. She would place her trust in Christ, and grow in confidence and faith. She would await the rising of the sun, with excitement, take on the day, fearlessly. She would push through the afternoon with endurance. Then she would take pleasure in watching the sun set. Each step she took would bring her closer to God.<br />
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She would break the cycle of monotony. And release her self-hatred, bitterness, shame and guilt. She'd break her habit of battling with those who aren't her enemy. Then she would become courageous with her time. She'd learn to treat herself with kindness, release anything that sickens her heart, then be forgiving of herself and any who came across her path.<br />
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<h2>
Day 8/30:</h2>
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<h3>
TODAY'S BRAVE ACT</h3>
Water someone else's seed of intention:<br />
<br />
Bring a friend to mind who you know is capable and gifted in a certain way.<br />
<br />
Send them some words of encouragement letting them know you see that in them.<br />
Who knows, a little nudge of confirmation could be all that friend needs to begin their own brave adventure.<br />
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<h3>
INSPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY:</h3>
<br />
"You must give everything to make your life as beautiful as the dreams that dance in your imagination."<br />
<br />
<b>- ROMAN PAYNE</b><br />
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<h3>
TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION</h3>
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<h3>
TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPTS</h3>
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<ul>
<li>Who made you feel good this week? What did they say?</li>
</ul>
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I don't know this person well, but she's a beautiful lady and good friend. She came to me, yesterday, sending quotes to me to encourage me. Afterward she spoke 4 simple sentences that put my heart at peace; "Proud of our scars. Shows we survive. Love you my beautiful sis. Hope you like those." </div>
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I am blessed to have friends like this. I need them everyday, and am grateful for them. I love them more than I can express. May fair winds always follow them and the Author guide their steps.</div>
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Luceo non uro,</div>
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Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-2118122637977914292017-06-27T16:04:00.000-04:002019-01-05T16:32:38.934-05:00#30daysofbrave 6/30: "If you don’t know where you are going, you might not get there."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xWW6D_PEl8Y/WVK4xqzOXBI/AAAAAAAAhm4/qbVugRf4ynIiKP1eoxfCewN2VvJ2KNmXgCLcBGAs/s1600/6-30.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="366" data-original-width="707" height="206" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xWW6D_PEl8Y/WVK4xqzOXBI/AAAAAAAAhm4/qbVugRf4ynIiKP1eoxfCewN2VvJ2KNmXgCLcBGAs/s400/6-30.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Before continuing on this challenge, I wanted to let y'all know that the next challenges I will take simultaneously are (click the pics for links):<br />
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<a href="http://www.iamsecond.com/challenge.php" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">Next: <img border="0" data-original-height="666" data-original-width="1267" height="210" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BiWdSr5wqVQ/WVK44X1TqCI/AAAAAAAAhnA/P1Ad3W1LWqwrVZ9G2JqTbxLi13-FHShTgCLcBGAs/s400/22dayiamsecondchallenge.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://mindslikeours.org/tag/daily-challenge/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">And then...:<img border="0" data-original-height="666" data-original-width="1260" height="211" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-unWs5NRlPOs/WVK42HWLdhI/AAAAAAAAhnE/i0xiktPBxeAr4J4MCwfeuMMM5ZArzZNBQCEwYBhgL/s400/selfesteemchallenge.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
TODAY'S BRAVE ACT:</h3>
Choose one metric to use that can measure the results of your 30-day goal.<br />
<br />
Measuring progress will help me stay on track, reach my target dates, and experience the achievement that will propel me to bravely charge forth in the face of fear.<br />
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<h3>
INSPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY:</h3>
"If you don’t know where you are going, you might not get there."<br />
<br />
<b>- YOGI BERRA</b><br />
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</h3>
<h3>
TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION:</h3>
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<h3>
TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPTS:</h3>
I have 24 days left in my 30-day goal to (insert 30-day goal) .<br />
Which means within two weeks, I need to (insert 2-week goal) .<br />
Which means in a week, I need to (insert 1-week goal) .<br />
Which means in the next three days, I need to (insert 3-day goal) .<br />
To hit that 3-day goal, today I need to (insert today's goal) .<br />
<h4>
30-day goals: </h4>
<ul>
<li>Being more creative with my time</li>
<li>Losing ten pounds</li>
<li>Standing up for myself</li>
</ul>
<h4>
Within 2 weeks I need to: </h4>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Create at least 14 pieces of art</li>
<li>Lose 5 pounds</li>
<li>Know when to stand for myself and when to conform</li>
</ul>
<h4>
In a week I need to:</h4>
</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Create 7 pieces of art</li>
<li>Exercise for 15 minutes, daily</li>
<li>Verbally forgive myself, daily</li>
</ul>
<h4>
In the next 3 days I need to:</h4>
</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Create 3 pieces of art</li>
<li>Weigh myself</li>
<li>Grow in faith a lil more</li>
</ul>
<h4>
Today I need to:</h4>
<ul>
<li>Clean room</li>
<li>Walk for about 15 minutes</li>
<li>Take a moment of the day to pray, meditate, read scripture, do my daily challenge.</li>
</ul>
</div>
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Luceo non uro,<br />
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Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-5535765219318120102017-06-27T00:09:00.000-04:002019-01-05T16:31:45.237-05:00#30daysofbrave 5/30: "You are enough, just as you are. Each emotion you feel, everything you do in your life, everything you do or do not do… where you are and who you are right now is enough. It is perfect. You are perfect enough."<br />
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Before we get to today's challenge. I wanted to share my mum's and my ministry! I'll be bringing it back to life as soon as I can! take a peek!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.lightformi.com/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="663" data-original-width="1261" height="210" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1EHblAva420/WVHJFefXiUI/AAAAAAAAhlI/zxKAC9m7J7YPO8fWhao0b0iuCC_vRn2RgCLcBGAs/s400/lightformi.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(click the pic)</td></tr>
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</h3>
<h3>
TODAY'S BRAVE ACT:</h3>
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Spend time listening to your thoughts of 'not enough.'<br />
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These voices of 'not enough' are there because there's something to be learned. Today, write down all the ways you’ve been telling yourself you are not enough. Thank those thoughts for helping you better understand yourself, and let them go as you say, “I am enough.”<br />
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<h3>
<br />INSPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY:</h3>
<br />
"You are enough, just as you are. Each emotion you feel, everything you do in your life, everything you do or do not do… where you are and who you are right now is enough. It is perfect. You are perfect enough."<br />
<br />
- MELANIE JADE<br />
<h3>
<br />TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION</h3>
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My favorite quality about myself is my stubbornness to persevere. And my willingness to face the world with silent courage minute after after of ever day after day.<br />
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My favorite flaw is my mental illness, with it I learn to be creative, see the light within the darkness and to persevere everyday. With it, God molds me into a stronger and more compassionate person.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><a href="http://braveyunvagabond.deviantart.com/art/How-It-Feels-What-Recovery-Is-Like-688889640"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="800" height="150" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZxxU3WH_8DY/WVHckZ4qMnI/AAAAAAAAhlk/utexwcWIfSk1Qth3JO-R0Vid6HU5bae1QCLcBGAs/s400/howitfeels.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://braveyunvagabond.deviantart.com/art/How-It-Feels-What-Recovery-Is-Like-688889640">Copyright (C) 2017 Mari Fahel McKimzey <br />made this today....</a></td></tr>
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<h3>
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TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPTS:</h3>
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<ul>
<li>How would I define feeling 'enough' as it relates to me personally?</li>
<li>Why do my voices of ‘not enough’ exist? What are they trying to tell me?</li>
<li>How can I grow by spending time listening to these voices?</li>
</ul>
<div>
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<div>
Today, I went to a therapy appoint and during which time, We analyzed this very thing. I didn't know until I processed it now. I had to fill in a <a href="https://cls.unc.edu/files/2014/10/Behavior-Chain-Analysis-Information-1.pdf">Chain Analysis of Problem Behaviour Worksheet</a> on my most recent selfharming incident (burning).... While, filling in all the links, I realized it was basically a bunch of ways I was saying that I wasn't enough. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Selfharming: Burning, cutting, punching, picking etc.</li>
<li> "What's the point in fighting the urge?",</li>
<li>"One won't hurt" (by the end, I had seven burns)</li>
<li>"I did not say I wouldn't burn."</li>
<li>Not forgiving myself for things</li>
<li>Not sleeping at night</li>
<li>Taking my meds late</li>
<li>Not keeping up with my hygiene</li>
<li>Overeating/skipping meals</li>
</ul>
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To feel enough for me would be that I have to be stronger than everyone else. I have to be always kind, always strong, always able to give my care to people. I'd have to always be on my best behaviour, not giving into addictions, my anger, and not hurting people. I can't be weak, I can't cry. I can't be human basically.... or at least that's what I tell myself. I got to be the perfect person, able to give whatever I need to, to others.</div>
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<div>
I always thought the voices of not being enough came from the abandonment of my father, the way the church as a whole has treated me. The fact that I am my father's daughter and not technically my daddy's daughter. I feel like I have to earn my daddy's love, I have to earn God's love, I have to earn my forgiveness... It's my biggest stumbling block. Makes it hard on me, especially when I know I can't earn it. I'm that fallen.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Realizing that, true, I'm not enough on my own standards. That is why I have a perfect God. And yes, though I am so desperately wicked and broken, God still has chosen me. And once I learn to trust God and have confidence in His love and grace, I can have confidence that I am enough in Him. Listening to the voices and then responding in that way will help me to realize that as a ragamuffin, I only need to receive the love of God as a child receives it and then I will find peace in it. </div>
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Luceo non uro,</div>
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Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-62468013278518991362017-06-25T16:59:00.000-04:002019-01-05T16:30:53.437-05:00#30daysofbrave 4/30: "There is only one time that is important – NOW! It is the most important time because it is the only time that we have any power."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8dTI8l-ff60/WVAer6J6fVI/AAAAAAAAhkI/K5ZdoDY9WoIrb8PjPMz0n80VO58n0XVdgCLcBGAs/s1600/4-30.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="444" data-original-width="708" height="250" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8dTI8l-ff60/WVAer6J6fVI/AAAAAAAAhkI/K5ZdoDY9WoIrb8PjPMz0n80VO58n0XVdgCLcBGAs/s400/4-30.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Before we continue with the challenge. If you had the chance to <a href="http://oneiricambiventure.blogspot.com/p/blog-page_22.html">adopt fursonas</a>, would you do it? Do you enjoy unique pieces of specially- created art from the heart? And if you had money would you <a href="https://www.etsy.com/people/bohemianragamuffin">buy any from an artist that isn't well known to support them</a> (and <a href="https://www.patreon.com/oneiricambiventure">on patreon</a>?) Want free <a href="http://oneiricambiventure.blogspot.com/p/gryphonhearted-pride-flag-periwinkle.html">public use-approved art</a>?<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><a href="http://oneiricambiventure.blogspot.com/"><img border="0" data-original-height="630" data-original-width="1260" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kFtHHzIStJw/WVAWL5lw2uI/AAAAAAAAhjg/K5cKKzmJZUU3FjQOTXAhiTI-70dR9oX5QCLcBGAs/s400/myartblog.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://oneiricambiventure.blogspot.com/">THEN VISIT MY ART BLOG HERE!</a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY:</span><br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img height="400" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RY4iO47qmgc/WU6JBbyg00I/AAAAAAAAhh4/T62BhhJzESYI_CuWFct7mCT4L-z9F2eZQCLcBGAs/s400/day1weight.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="356" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">My gut is: 51 1/2 inches<br />My weight is: 270 lbs </span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption"></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<h2 style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Day 4/30 of Brave:</span></h2>
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</div>
<h3 style="text-align: center;">
TODAY'S BRAVE ACT:</h3>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HETFosbkxeQ/WVAd5UVm6LI/AAAAAAAAhj8/4fBe0w_eFL8021i09N4H6uBMvVyHiTTPQCLcBGAs/s1600/breathing-gif-5.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="400" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HETFosbkxeQ/WVAd5UVm6LI/AAAAAAAAhj8/4fBe0w_eFL8021i09N4H6uBMvVyHiTTPQCLcBGAs/s400/breathing-gif-5.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(I KNOW IT'S NOT MONDAY, BUT I JUST REALLY LOVED THIS GIF)</td></tr>
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<div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Take a mindful moment to count 5 slow breaths in a row.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's harder than you may think. Here's a guide for <a href="http://intentioninspired.us14.list-manage.com/track/click?u=1cced2ae3a070443865a9bd4b&id=e0939d9c34&e=1b92c50934">The One-Minute Meditation</a>:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Breathing in through the nose,f</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Breathing out through the mouth.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Breathing in feeling the lungs expanding,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Breathing out feeling a sense of letting go.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Breathing in to feel the body getting fuller,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Breathing out to feel the release of any tension.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Breathing in feeling alive and awake,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Breathing out feeling muscles relaxing.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Breathing in that sense of fullness,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Breathing out that unnecessary tension in the body and mind.</div>
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<h2>
<span style="font-size: large;">INSPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY:</span></h2>
<div>
<div>
"There is only one time that is important – NOW! It is the most important time because it is the only time that we have any power."</div>
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</div>
<div>
<b>- LEO TOLSTOY</b></div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<h2>
<span style="font-size: large;">TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION:</span></h2>
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<br />
<h2>
<span style="font-size: large;">TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPTS:</span></h2>
<br />
<ul>
<li>A past moment that left me feeling powerless or afraid …</li>
<li>How can I let go of that limiting past experience based on what I now know?</li>
</ul>
<br />
The moments when I wasn't welcome in public places because of my mental illness left me feeling vulnerable and afraid to show my face in new places. Especially in church as I'm treated less than sane. It leaves me questioning the integrity and ingenuity of the Church, and love and compassion of Christ. Makes me wonder if I am absolutely alone in this world, cast off from fellowship with God <i>and His people</i>... It leaves me fearing that I am not saved due to my ailments and enraged with the church.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
I can carry on in the knowledge that God is not His people. His is perfect. He is full of compassion. He is just and kind. He is love. He is truth. I can learn to remember that the church is full of human beings and thus it is full of broken sinners, only forgiven through their faith, by grace as I am. If I let it go by remembering no man under the sun is perfect and that even if one is forgiven, we are still human, I can learn to carry on, in fellowship and forgiveness with the Church and also can learn to forgive myself.<br />
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<br />
<br />
Luceo no uro,<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-P-uYkfKgmoA/WUxIG8hND8I/AAAAAAAAhfg/d0WF2khvXSgWcCkWMTAJNqziQqP9WpfcACPcBGAYYCw/s1600/ajsign.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="200" data-original-width="400" height="160" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-P-uYkfKgmoA/WUxIG8hND8I/AAAAAAAAhfg/d0WF2khvXSgWcCkWMTAJNqziQqP9WpfcACPcBGAYYCw/s320/ajsign.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
P.S. I wrote this poem today:<br />
<h4>
I Am Christian</h4>
Copyright (C) 2017 Mari Fahel McKimzey<br />
<br />
I am Christian. If my music tastes mirrors that, it's just the way I am.<br />
I am Christian. If my creations and life reflects a Christian life, then I'm glad.<br />
I am Christian. Is that really so sad that I believe in something greater than myself?<br />
I am Christian. That doesn't mean I am perfect, far from so<br />
I am Christian. What it does mean is that I am desperately wicked but also radically forgiven.<br />
I am Christian. You may say believing this will only make a fool of me.<br />
And what if you're right? But I'd rather live as though what Christ said was true and be buried with no afterlife<br />
Than live as though what Christ said wasn't true and be damned to hell<br />
Because, what if you're wrong? And Christ truly is who He said He was?<br />
I am Christian. Which means I am a little Christ.<br />
<br />
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<br />Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-70276810705660863282017-06-24T12:17:00.004-04:002019-01-05T16:30:07.518-05:00#30daysofbrave 3/30: "What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vioW2hKxVgQ/WU6KZpD85QI/AAAAAAAAhiE/UwCqPTgvnQQTPsUc46EKl0ngpU1L5DPxACLcBGAs/s1600/3-10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="404" data-original-width="708" height="228" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vioW2hKxVgQ/WU6KZpD85QI/AAAAAAAAhiE/UwCqPTgvnQQTPsUc46EKl0ngpU1L5DPxACLcBGAs/s400/3-10.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Before I talk about my challenge for the day, I would like to bring up two sites that have helped me greatly in my writing! And they are a great way to get rid of your writers block! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tgxK_s3PtiE/WU3TQNy0kmI/AAAAAAAAhhs/dRTi01Vt1l05PeU4Skyluh4RXm2osEgOQCEwYBhgL/s1600/writeordie2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" data-original-height="612" data-original-width="854" height="285" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tgxK_s3PtiE/WU3TQNy0kmI/AAAAAAAAhhs/dRTi01Vt1l05PeU4Skyluh4RXm2osEgOQCEwYBhgL/s400/writeordie2.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This one I used to use ALL THE FRIGGING TIME especially during NaNoWriMo... It is a wonderful way for you to write continuously.... <a href="http://www.writeordie.com/">Write Or Die</a></span></td></tr>
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<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IxgJagNUqss/WU3TQP43sCI/AAAAAAAAhhs/sLqjxN3k-AMIAqOgrkN8TN_J0AfDpk3kwCEwYBhgL/s1600/fightersblock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" data-original-height="532" data-original-width="858" height="247" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IxgJagNUqss/WU3TQP43sCI/AAAAAAAAhhs/sLqjxN3k-AMIAqOgrkN8TN_J0AfDpk3kwCEwYBhgL/s400/fightersblock.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">And this one is a newer find for me.... called <a href="http://cerey.github.io/fighters-block/">Fighter's Block</a>. And it explains things better than I can, on the picture...</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"> YESTERDAY:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RY4iO47qmgc/WU6JBbyg00I/AAAAAAAAhh4/T62BhhJzESYI_CuWFct7mCT4L-z9F2eZQCLcBGAs/s1600/day1weight.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" data-original-height="602" data-original-width="536" height="400" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RY4iO47qmgc/WU6JBbyg00I/AAAAAAAAhh4/T62BhhJzESYI_CuWFct7mCT4L-z9F2eZQCLcBGAs/s400/day1weight.jpg" width="355" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; text-align: left;">My gut is: 51 1/2 inches.<br />My weight is: around 245 lbs??(I will update you if this is correct on Sunday)</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<h2>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large;">Day 3/30 of Brave:</span></h2>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">TODAY'S BRAVE ACT:</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Ask a friend what they see as your greatest strength and greatest weakness.</span><br />
<h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br />TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION:</span></h3>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br />INSPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY: </span></h3>
<div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">"What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself."</span></div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: inherit;">- ABRAHAM MASLOW</span></b></div>
</div>
</div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b>TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPTS</span></h3>
<div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>One of my greatest strengths has always been …</li>
<li>One of my greatest weaknesses that I acknowledge …</li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
I would say one of my greatest strengths is rising after a failure and carrying on. Even when I want to give in, desperately, I don't quit. Pushing through has always been my signature in life. I can say that I give up, but I don't know the word. I really love this about my personality.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
One of my greatest weaknesses that I acknowledge is that I don't know boundaries very well. I tend to emotionally vomit on people and I am very intense. I tend to be clingy and also very dependent on other's opinions of me. I am exceptionally codependent.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Luceo non uro,</div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-P-uYkfKgmoA/WUxIG8hND8I/AAAAAAAAhfg/d0WF2khvXSgWcCkWMTAJNqziQqP9WpfcACPcBGAYYCw/s1600/ajsign.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="200" data-original-width="400" height="160" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-P-uYkfKgmoA/WUxIG8hND8I/AAAAAAAAhfg/d0WF2khvXSgWcCkWMTAJNqziQqP9WpfcACPcBGAYYCw/s320/ajsign.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<h3>
<span style="font-size: large;">P.S.</span></h3>
<div>
I compiled a playlist for this challenge! What do you think of my selections?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OPuzaMQIaB8/WU6KksT4ioI/AAAAAAAAhiM/ptuVmUlijX4-p22M9pA2VyISRAK3z29DgCLcBGAs/s1600/playlist30daysbrave.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1600" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OPuzaMQIaB8/WU6KksT4ioI/AAAAAAAAhiM/ptuVmUlijX4-p22M9pA2VyISRAK3z29DgCLcBGAs/s400/playlist30daysbrave.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-D1aR5RgYkdU/WU6KkjuxaGI/AAAAAAAAhiI/SS_zuhRIt1UE5tnLk5Kgue0ibVEmP3LPwCLcBGAs/s1600/playlist30daysbrave2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1287" data-original-width="1600" height="321" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-D1aR5RgYkdU/WU6KkjuxaGI/AAAAAAAAhiI/SS_zuhRIt1UE5tnLk5Kgue0ibVEmP3LPwCLcBGAs/s400/playlist30daysbrave2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-47684175178869323332017-06-23T15:10:00.004-04:002019-01-05T16:24:17.520-05:00#30daysofbrave 2/30:"Revelation come! I wanna know why I'm....... Consuming what I'm consuming"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EevIq1jZqtk/WU1mpOH6fFI/AAAAAAAAhhU/RACqC8yKil0cd3BQBXkn-5MKZ0khQGoVACLcBGAs/s1600/2-30.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="352" data-original-width="704" height="200" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EevIq1jZqtk/WU1mpOH6fFI/AAAAAAAAhhU/RACqC8yKil0cd3BQBXkn-5MKZ0khQGoVACLcBGAs/s400/2-30.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br />
Before I get into today's challenge for the day... I wanted to share a few things. First off, in my recovery, I've been using a site called...<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.habitica.com/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="250" data-original-width="500" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-T6AcN5MA634/WUzBY7HlacI/AAAAAAAAhgc/QLGG7KobdC0u8fUG3HFiFGGmfVKBP7LyACLcBGAs/s1600/habiticalogo.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">CLICK THE PIC REALLY! CLICK IT! CLICK IT!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Anyhow... normal voice scripting now. This great website has an iPhone and Android app (and for those who do not have smartphones, it has a website, thus, the reason I wanted you to click the pic) and is an epic way to track your road to recovery. It is designed to help you break unhealthy and destructive habits and make new healthy, and productive ones. It treats your life as an RPG Game and is a good way to also keep track of to-do lists.<br />
<br />
And well, I've reached level 68 in it. Been using it since April or May. And as you can see, below... I set a few tasks made to help me through my recovery, including placing #30daysofbrave as a daily task... Anyhow that is my shout-out for today...<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NCpWaSLCm6c/WUzAaVHb9PI/AAAAAAAAhgQ/ipQcD4SH2HICPD_zSk9rdzz94mZKo9VmwCLcBGAs/s1600/habitica.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1058" data-original-width="1600" height="422" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NCpWaSLCm6c/WUzAaVHb9PI/AAAAAAAAhgQ/ipQcD4SH2HICPD_zSk9rdzz94mZKo9VmwCLcBGAs/s640/habitica.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />
<h3>
Day 2/30 of Brave:</h3>
<h2>
<span style="font-size: large;">TODAY'S BRAVE ACT</span></h2>
I will hold myself accountable to completing my 30-day goal by making one of the following commitments:<br />
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I will be keeping track of my progress on this blog and <a href="https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.714273895427414.1073741870.100005344295577&type=1&l=5dc124c2f5">facebook </a>(and when I can find my phone, I'll track it on <a href="http://www.instagram.com/braveragamuffinprincess">instagram</a>)</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">TODAY'S WORDS OF AFFIRMATION</span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: large;">TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPT</span></h2>
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Committing to this 30-day journal is important to me because …</h4>
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Taking up this challenge in of itself is important to me because I wish to live a braver life. And thus, journalling each day is important to me because my future self may soon forget that I am a bravehearted lass. I am as courageous as a gryphon. Connecting to that gryphon within me is important to carry on now, but connecting to that gryphon within me is also important for my future self to know who she is.</div>
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I want my life to be a reflection of Yaweh. I want to be able to stand up for my integrity and purity. I want to be healthy inside and out. And I want to be truly myself. Learning who I am through any unorthodox means that I can do within moral boundaries. I want to be creative in my lifestyle, my arts, and my media tastes.</div>
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Luceo non uro,</div>
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Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-91692936714652691802017-06-22T18:44:00.002-04:002019-01-05T16:23:04.522-05:00#30daysofbrave: Day 1/30: "From a tiny spark may burst a mighty flame."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Taking up the #30daysofbrave challenge xD While I was going through youtube, I stumbled across a video done by <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/Psych2GoTv">Psych2go </a>called "13 things people don't know you are doing because of your anxiety" I watched it and saw their shout-out to the challenge. Thanks Psycho2go! You all are helping so many people with your informal videos! And a special thanks goes to Intention Inspired for thinking up the challenge!<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Day 1/30 of Brave: </span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: large;">TODAY'S BRAVE ACT: </span></h3>
Choose a physical object to serve as a reminder of why you committed to this 30-Day Brave Challenge.<br />
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I chose my gryphon pendant. I'll hang it either by my door or next to my laptop. When I am not wearing it.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">INPIRING QUOTE OF THE DAY: </span></h3>
<i>"From a tiny spark may burst a mighty flame."</i><br />
<b>- DANTE ALIGHIERI</b><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">TODAY'S JOURNAL PROMPT: </span></h3>
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<i>What was the seed that inspired you to start this 30-day challenge?</i></h4>
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Lately has been a struggle. Depression and anxiety has been drowning me and therapy, psychiatry, fellowship, and my recovery seems unimportant and pointless. Thus I knew it was when I needed to persevere most.</div>
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My goals in this challenge are to:</div>
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<li>Being more creative with my time</li>
<li>Losing ten pounds</li>
<li>Standing up for myself</li>
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Self-harming, suicidal thoughts, insecurities and the entire circus of madness has weighed myself far too long! Let's see what this brave yun vagabond can do!</div>
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Luceo non uro,</div>
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Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-17014996798107728632017-06-12T19:31:00.004-04:002017-06-12T21:24:35.631-04:00"If you face the fear that keeps you frozen Chase the sky into the ocean That's when something wild calls you home, home"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The Lyrics In The Title Came From...</h4>
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Introduction</h4>
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Life has been rough lately. But I've been working to improve myself and to cope with my issues. The way I'm doing it is the most unorthodox way you could ever do it though. And believe me it is something WILD! But I'll get to it at the end!<br />
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I'm Not Perfect...</h4>
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As many know I have severe BPD, Bipolar NOS, and anxiety/panic disorder. Often times I have difficulty living through it. I do many things I truly regret which often leaves me in bed, all day, I feel things deeply and am very turbulent. And, regrettably, I can walk all over my friends. </div>
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Although it's not all bad to have these things, as they also helps me learn perseverance. It also makes life a daily a struggle... I struggle to even keep up with my hygiene to get y'all see how bad it is. So sometimes, I find myself not noticing how I treat my friends and family. I emotionally vomit and cross boundaries, without even knowing I'm doing it. Recently, I had a situation in church where exactly that happened. I overused people, without realizing it and was banned shorting then put on a trial-based return. And last night, it came to my attention, that there are several friends may be dealing with it too. </div>
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I admit I am not perfect and I'm not using my mental illness as an excuse. I only bring it up to explain that it isn't out of malice or because I wanna make things difficult. I also want to apologize to any who I've done this to recently. Just so you know I may need y'all to be blunt with me. Don't be scared to tell me that I'm crossing lines. If the topic in of itself may hurt and you don't wanna hurt me, just tell me. I honestly would rather be hurt than to continually hurt other. Obviously don't try to purposefully hurt me, but don't be scared to be upfront.</div>
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<br /><img alt="" src="http://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/19030501_708327172688753_431728291024843656_n.jpg?oh=8b847a6760c5309ae35a66044d83a0c6&oe=59DE7439" height="320" style="float: left; margin: 0px 15px 15px 0px;" width="320" />Face Everything and Rise; What True Courage Is...</h4>
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Now, that we got that situation dealt with I'll get onto the next topic... I wanted to write a bit of encouragement for everyone. Many of my friends are going through a rough time too. They believe that their unforgiven, or that they cannot live on their own, single, or that they have to trudge on by their own strength, or that they should just die... Let me tell you guys something.... You guy so courageous. I've seen how you guys fight hard. I've seen your beautiful hearts love and love and love on people.<br />
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<img alt="" src="http://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/19030189_708382229349914_7255291341517722901_n.jpg?oh=84156ae6375c174bc74e2c007e412474&oe=59A422F7" height="275" style="float: left; margin: 0px 15px 15px 0px;" width="320" />Brother, you are forgiven, God loves you beyond your missteps and even most cruelest of things. He made you, a vessel of dishonour into a vessel of honour. You are forgiven of even the most disgusting sins you've committed, go in courage, and be encouraged. Sister, you are amazing. You are worth more than you give yourself credit for. You don't need a lover to give you worth. And the fact you are still here shows your courage and that you're worth so much more. Brother, I forgive for what you've done. And I understand your fear to open up. You still believe you gotta do this alone. You have the guts and toughness of a fighter. But not the courage and compassion of a true warrior, but it isn't too late, be encouraged to come home....<br />
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Not A Race</h3>
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43 days ago I relapsed (again) and cut. But I cut 3 times before that... The first time, I had to get some stitches. I've had to come to terms with that. Encouraging myself and realizing that I am not racing for perfection. I'm in a dance and learning, daily how to change things in order to improve. Relapses aren't a step back. It's a lesson in adjusting so you know the last strategy doesn't work and can find one that will. Thus I bring the hope in the storm to y'all....<br />
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<img alt="" height="200" src="https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/18622266_699136523607818_8335504028184324329_n.jpg?oh=f67dc9ce6eea6787c6b04ff1b689a070&oe=59D398CB" style="float: left; margin: 0px 15px 15px 0px;" width="200" />My Own Unorthodox Coping (& Conclusion)</h4>
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Well, that comes to my last bit... I'm a furry now, coping with my stuff and planning a ministry to help mentally ill kids... :) Go visit my <a href="http://iamchristianfurry.blogspot.com/">furry blog here</a>... Peace out and rock on, dahlings! May fair winds follow you and the Author guide you,<br />
Ari<br />
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(ALL PICTURES BELONG TO ME--except the gifs-- AND ARE COPYRIGHTED (C) 2017)</div>
<span style="color: red;">EDIT: Also I'll be quitting wattpad now... only coming back on to transfer writings on docs.... I'll give you a heads up later to tell you where I'll be posting my writings, or if I will be...</span></div>
Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-90830190560459669302016-11-20T16:10:00.002-05:002016-11-20T16:10:41.127-05:00"By your spirit I will rise from the ashes of defeat. The resurrected King is resurrecting me."<h4>
The Lyrics In The Title Came From...</h4>
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Introduction</h4>
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Well, woooorld of the 'net! It is I, Mari Fahel McKimzey (...or Ari...) back from the "dead"! Second move was a success and to top it, now that Aric is moved out, we have a much better relationship with each other! Furthermore, I'm getting him to come with me to Merge tonight! But I'll talk more on that in a moment.... anyhoo.... </div>
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Celebrate Recovery, New Day, and Merge... Oh d-d-d-dear-dear...</h4>
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CR is taking a break for until the first of the year so that they can regroup, many of their leaders left after all. Meanwhile, I'm going to New Day once more. Focusing on becoming more independent so when the next opportunity to move comes, I'll be prepared to move out and not deal with the stress of living with my folks anymore. I love my family and all, but I'm growing really tired of living with them and want to grow with a bit more room now... On a brighter note, I've been going to Merge every week, and as the introduction suggest, my brother and I are going there together, tonight. After striking a deal with him for spending the night with him last night and missing morning church, he agreed to go with me!</div>
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NaNoWriMo '16, LIGHTforMI, Advent Countdown, and Vloggin' TOO!</h4>
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As everyone can tell though, it is November! And y'all know what that means too! NaNoWriMo(and the upcoming advent countdown)! This year, I started writing this book:</div>
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I'm hoping to get it done this year, but it's not very likely... Anyhoo.... for the advent countdown, everyone knows I make Christmas art up until Christmas! This year, it'll be held on my <a href="http://www.instagram.com/x.daddys.gingersnap.x">Art Instagram</a> :D Recently I've also been vlogging on my instagrams and on my musical.ly! If you go to find me on that app, I am @braveyunvagabond.</div>
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Also have been trying to focus on my ministry...difficult though it may be on my own... I'm hoping that I can find a way to make prompts for others to write, draw, make speeches or sing things on mental illness so we can push this forward... Also expanding the media into audio a visual on youtube and podcasts field with the expansion I call Soundwaves of Love! Please support me in this...</div>
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Conclusion</h4>
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With all that said, I'm hoping y'all are having a blessed autumn! With Thanksgiving and Christmas on the way, I'd like to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving and a Merry Christmas because it may be a while before I can get back to blog lolz! But do you like my new template y'all? Anyhoo... Peace out and rock on folks!</div>
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Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-22849307293404288902016-07-10T17:28:00.000-04:002016-07-10T17:28:10.394-04:00....and I've returned....yet again!Hello, y'all! I'm back! Lately I've had to come to the library to post, as mention before in my last post. And since it's so blooming hot this summer in South Carolina (it got to 101 degree Fahrenheit on Friday) I'd prefer to come here only two times a week (Friday for Celebrate Recovery and Sunday for Merge!) Anyhoo, I said I had plenty to update y'all on, and because of this I am kinda breaking my usual layout on blogposts...<br />
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So, where to start? January of this year I began going to Celebrate Recovery and since then I've built my support group. The church that it was held in was First Baptist Spartanburg and so, I learned that there was also a college group that met Sunday evenings (that would be Merge). March of this year I started going there big time and making great new friends.<br />
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I went to the library a lot during the Autumn, Winter and Spring and went to a meeting for NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Illness) and told them of my ministry for mental illness and they began to team up with us. Mum has been going on training meetings and they have a few for myself as well. Through this opportunity, I do hope that LIGHTforMI will get a little more well known.<br />
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Art, music and writing has become a huge deal in my life, especially now. And practicing it seems to make me better and better at it. I am often setting challenges for myself and have also decided to start writing all things with my left hand rather than my right. Daddy and my brother have taught me how to shoot (daddy's teaching me archery, Aric's teaching me slingshots and pellet guns hehe!) And I'm picking up new hobbies!<br />
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It's been a very eventful year and I wish one post was enough to explain all of it... but I will update/catch up with all of you later, definitely! You see, the library closes at 6pm and I want the rest of this hour for other things, and I gotta get to Merge around 6:30! Peace out y'all! Rock on~! Buh bye!<br />
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Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-27488143574645361682016-07-08T16:57:00.000-04:002016-07-08T16:57:25.177-04:00"The noise and confusion gave way to His word At last sacred silence so God could be heard"<h4 class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The Lyrics In The Title Came From...</h4>
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Introduction</h4>
Sorry, y'all for not writing much since my last post... It's been an entire year now, huh? Well, heyuu again ladies and gents! Anyhow, life began to settle down a tad, only to get confusing and chaotic again. We moved in around July 2015 and enjoyed the house lots... But then we realized the hard way that we couldn't afford it... So I have lots of news about that... and other things;<br />
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...Yet Again...</h4>
Well, after a year of living in this awesome house, we are moving out yet again.... But it's gonna be a wee bit different this time. My brother and I are being nudged out of the nest and having to move now. Well, that isn't unheard of; (haha!) after all, Aric's 26 and I am about to turn 23 in 2 weeks... This scared me a lot at first... But, now even though I have butterflies in my tummy, I at peace with this knowledge... and almost excited about it, too! I have to prove to my mother that I can handle living on my own without living in a group home. And to do that, I must keep my room clean, manage my dishes well, stretch my money as long as I can, and stretch my food throughout the month. I'm pretty confident that I can do this, but it is taking me a wee bit of time to do it. To many people, this is just their daily routine... For me, though, it is a struggle...<br />
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Within 9 Months...</h4>
Daddy made me aware that he is going to aim to change his name to either MacKenzie or MacMillan within 9 months. To add to that, he said he is adopting my brother and myself. After 17 years of waiting, I'm almost broke down on my own, cuz I was so filled with joy. I have been hoping for this for so long, so gimme a break! lolz!<br />
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New Style... <a href="http://gothtypes.wikia.com/wiki/Hippy_Goth">Hippy Goth</a>!</h4>
Welp, I changed my style up a wee bit to <a href="http://gothtypes.wikia.com/wiki/Hippy_Goth">Hippy Goth</a>. Obviously it's a Christianized Version of it! Just trying to find myself. And I think I have :) I feel comfortable with my choice in style. Hopefully growing out my mullet so I can have long hair agree and I plan to dye my hair auburn red and black, in highlights! xD So far, though, I am hiding my mullet with hats, scarves, and hoodies. lolz!<br />
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Conclusion</h4>
I really do have more to update y'all on, but I am pressed for time and can only update this post when on the library pc's for the time being and I have to run to Celebrate Recovery here soon! If y'all ever want more consistent updates, go visit on my instagrams and tumblrs:<br />
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<a href="http://www.instagram.com/spartanbugragamuffin">spartanbugragamuffin - Instagram</a><br />
<a href="http://www.instagram.com/sweetspicegingersnap">sweetspicegingersnap</a> - Instagram<br />
<a href="http://www.instagram.com/lightformi">lightformi - Instagram</a><br />
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<a href="http://braveyunragamuffin.tumblr.com/">The Tales of a Ragamuffin Warrioress</a><br />
<a href="http://theirontotheflame.tumblr.com/">Luceo Non Uro (I Shine Not Burn)</a><br />
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Enjoy! And I will try to update back again later!<br />
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Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-78950184993950919222015-07-17T16:14:00.000-04:002015-07-17T20:08:36.923-04:00"Step by step, one day at a time. I know whatever comes my way I’ll be fine. I don't need anything more than right here, right now."<h3 style="text-align: left;">
The Lyrics In The Title Came From...</h3>
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Introduction</h3>
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Hey guys, things are tight and overwhelming, but I believe things are under control. God has us and though things are rough and stressful I know God won't let us go...</div>
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Emergency Move!</h3>
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Wow... things escalated quickly since my last blogpost. We will be moving August 4th. We have to be packed and completely out by then because there is toxic mold in my bedroom and our lease is up in August... God provided some good options, but I often wonder how we're gonna pull this off. I'm going through my things and trashing ruined things and cleaning up mold from my things before packing them and typing up my hard copies of my writing and then trashing them... I am so overwhelmed! But, I am trying to be optimistic and positive and more importantly trust in God through it all...<br />
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<span style="color: red;">EDIT: God provided a house, money for the down payment, free boxes from various stores, and a place to get reasonably priced packing tape. If he could provide for all that I am quite convinced that he is gonna pull through with the time to pack up and move there. And here I was doubting and afraid that we might not get through this... It was pretty quick that these things took place.</span></div>
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Conclusion</h3>
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I won't be posting as much due to these turn of events but, I will try to blog asap! So, prayers, brothers and sisters in Christ, would be very much appreciated... God bless y'all! A buh-bye!</div>
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Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5316183226949229732.post-35721137837339625852015-07-11T21:29:00.002-04:002015-07-11T21:29:53.224-04:00"Who are you to change this world? Silly Boy! No one needs to hear your words. Let it go."<h3 style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The Lyrics In The Title Came From...</h3>
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Introduction</h3>
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Hello to all my loverlies! Life has been a rough ride lately. I've been struggling with depression and not wanting to connect with humanity. I've been afraid to do as the Lord called me to do. I've also been so absorbed by the news lately. But, otherwise, I am about to turn 22 in 11 days and life is a blessing! I have been fairly consistent in my <a href="http://hisweesparrow.blogspot.com/search/label/Hobbit%20Birthday%20Party%20Countdown">birthday countdown</a> and listening to new music by bands/artists that follow me on <a href="http://www.instagram.com/spartanbugragamuffin">instagram </a>and <a href="http://www.twitter.com/raggedylass">twitter</a> and writing plent of poems on wattpad:</div>
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Work and Insecurities</h3>
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I will be hopefully working at the New Day Clubhouse with a slight possibility of living there too! I am excited to get more active in my adult life! It gives me some butterflies in my stomach, but it is a healthy nervousness... :) Though there are some good things in my life, been overcome by shame and fear over my actions and the insanity of the world. It makes it hard to trust my instincts and to trust God. Even though I say I trust and believe in His grace, I feel as though that is a mask rather than faith... For some strange reason, I trust Satan's lies more than God's truth... and that grieves me.</div>
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Birthday Time!</h3>
I took Gramma out to eat at Jason's Deli instead of Nose Dive and it was nice to get some time with her... She bought me water dancing speakers and a scarf:<br />
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I enjoy these a lot and I look forward to my birthday (and my Gramma's, Aunt's, Daddy's, and Cousin's) that is coming up! :D</div>
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Conclusion</h3>
Also, I started up a <a href="http://www.instagram.com/lightformi">ligtformi instagram</a>! Looking forward to getting onto that. I'll be writing several books soon, but I've come across some writer's block... which isn't fun! I've also taking upon myself the responsibility of mentoring a friend in the faith. I am finding that hard for me to do, but I feel it is God's hand guiding me in... but I admit that I maybe wrong... But, prayers in all of this would be appreciated! And I love ye all! Anyhoo peace out rock on and be good! bai bai!!!<br />
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Arihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11312860729445018727noreply@blogger.com0