"I wanna feel it when I mean it when I say it can you hear me at all?"

This month, I am beginning some challenges, small groups, and I started my first visit into 2015's Writing Show hosted in my library... I would really love to invite you all to join a challenge in particular with me, however...

I know, we, as humanity have such a hard time with prayer. We somehow think we must be official and have the greatest vocabulary to discuss matters with God, as if that will impress him... Or we bring God this looooooong wishlist as if He's Santa Claus... So, Max Lucado in this devotional is making it simple for us... 4 minutes everyday for 4 weeks, praying.

Click the photo and it should send you to where you can buy this!

In my last post, I mentioned dailyaudiobible, it's not too late if you want to join the community in listening to the bible in a year, it never is anyway... I'd suggest you pick up from the day you get on and keep going... It'll change your life, I assure you of that! You will not come out of it the same...

And from January 20th - March 24th my church's women's group will be doing a study in Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul, which I shall be a participant in. I'm looking quite forward to this women' small group!

Tomorrow, mum will be starting her first semester in Liberty University. And with her having a fulltime 8am-4pm job, being a homeschool mother, the lay ministries coordinator and helper at the  youth group at our church, and designing a commission website, she'll be busy... Be praying for her, my brothers and sisters in Christ, please... She's kinda concerned over this...

I've been stuck on writing journal entries and poetry, lately. Also, have been publishing them on my wattypad... I'm trying to assess myself and I feel as though God is calling me to find my all in Him. I am doing this because of these promptings:

• Everybody's saying I'm beautiful... I acknowledge that I look pretty, beautiful even... but I look deeper than the outward appearance in all people, including myself... So, when I look into the mirror, into my eyes, all I see is fear. Always fear. As if there's a huge screen inside my eyes and it's just permanent... Then I look at the qualities of what I actually DO in my fear... I lie to, betray, manipulate not only everyone else, but myself... I can never go beyond that point. If I am fearfully and wonderfully made and God sees something precious when He looks on me, and I am the apple of His eye. If all that is true, then how can I see past my fear to see myself as He sees me? I don't want to say that I don't feel fearfully and wonderfully made, because feelings are so very deceptive. In fact, I'm just skipping that argument altogether and going straight to this question; how can I see myself the way God sees me?

• Then there is trust. I have such a difficult time trusting anyone as of late... but I am not going to start by learning to trust humanity... I want to start by learning to trust in God. If any of you guys have read my journal entry, The Doctor Knows Best... you might notice in it I talk about trusting that the Healer knows what He's actually saying when He says "no". It isn't to take the good things away, but in His loving wisdom He knows we are ill, and He wants us to be well. Because He is God, and we are not God. If you haven't read it, I suggest you do(the link is on the title). I really want to work on this.. Because, I want to so depend on Him so that I can have the courage to take that leap of faith and know wherever this goes, He will be there.

• Then there is the extent of our sinfulness and the extent of the pain that Christ had to go through in this life to save the lost... And WHY we believe. And WHY He had to die for the sins... And the pain of the crucifixion... because, we, in the Western World, especially cannot comprehend the road to the cross and how determined Christ HAD to be to keep going... Look guys, it wasn't oh, hop in a car or plane and be there within 2 hours... No, it was much further and longer than that, and He knew where He was going. He knew He'd die the most humiliating and excruciating death known to mankind... then, deeper into it, He knew He'd have to face the agony of being forsaken by His Father, who He was one with from the very beginning! I want to learn the way of the cross...

And if I learn this and grow in this, I know and believe that I will learn how to walk as a woman of faith... I am willing to let go of whatever will hinder my growth in faith. Relationships, hobbies, desires, mindsets, whatever I have, the Lord has full access to it...

So, all of that together in one sentence; There's gonna be a [RADICAL and EPIC] change!

[Quote is from this song below...]

 

Soooooo, that's that...God bless you all.

May fair winds follow you and the Author guide you.

Fare thee well!

 



Take in all the colors....before they fade to grey...

If the sacrifice of my physical health is what I must give unto Him as my offering, I will continue to say HOSANNA TO THE KING OF KINGS! So much to worship and praise and give thanks to Him for!

From day one... February 24, 2012 I made a decision to make my vows for the Greatest Lover one can ever have. I would work to let go of my armor only to Him. Such a fight and a struggle, but God continues to get a hold of me... Guided by my family and church family All Saints Church, Spartanburg through my faith since as far as I could remember... God used the valuable lessons spoken to me by these many brothers, sisters, and mentors and has grown me. I am far from finished... but I feel fulfilled. I am now guiding another believer the way I connected better to my faith(Thank you, Josiah)... After so long, I have finally come to a point where I can completely rejoice over the freedom, my beloved and precious sister, Savannah has. I give thanks to God for sending her Cole, and praise the Lord for making beauty out of the ashes through our lil Alice in Wonderland.... I am at peace and feel freed from the destruction of my past. The Holy Spirit landed as a dove on my heart... and blessed me to see the beauty of the harvest... Eli is rejoicing, our friend Nic is lighter... I am free from my bitter spirit. Forgiveness has broken through. I give thanks to God for the friends he has used to bring me up... The Lord our God is good and His mercy endures forever. I am alive, I am awake, I am strong, I am a survivor, I am an overcomer, I am a fighter, I am a lover, and I am a Child of God's.

Many people tell me I look like I'm in love... To smooth this out, I am. I have fallen sooo deep in love with a God I ran from for so long. I just want to please Him. I thank God for ALL of those who are my friends, and those who read this now... Remember, you all have had a part to play in making me who I am.

(Titles? I wish you wouldn't pressure this on me... welll, alright...) Bananas are good.

Alright, as some of you know, I've been hoping to write music for my lyrics/poems... Well, I'm starting now, with these song:

Title: The Ending of it All
Written by: Arianna Schaffer
Project: Illuminance (my musical project name)

End it now... (whispered)

[V1] End your sorrow and end your pain
Give up the hope of tomorrow
There is never a shame
In stopping your breath with a single stroke
So, bend at the knee, and pose the knife
Give up yourself... give up on life!
Such are the lies I hear in bed
Every night, I hear that I should be dead


[Pre-Chorus] But, I will stand, I will not be fooled
It's dangerous for these devils to use my soul
Because, I'm no puppet on their string
My life belongs to the King of all kings

[Chorus] So, now I say I end this now!
The voices' chants can not control me
(I end this now,)
I break the ritual, pray my soul be set fee
(I end it now...)
I don't want my life to end here
(I end it now...)
For grace to draw me near
(I end this...)

[V2] End your life and stop your heart
Cut the vein, the blood will satisfy
Your death is eminent, we'll tear you apart
Until, you do this, you aim to die
It should end just perfectly fine
You don't need to suffer anymore...
Such are the lies I gave into once before
Allowing my heart to become sin's whore

[Pre-Chorus & Chorus]

[Bridge] Do not let the shadows rule your heart
You are more than they make out
Just stand up to fight this fight
Then I call you to make a war cry shout...

I'm no puppet on their string
My life belongs to the King of all kings!

[Chorus]

Never Will I Leave You

Well, a night to stay up. Not in fear, no, not in rage. Not in sadness, bitterness, nor pain... but just to ponder on the changing power of One Name. Silence is my friend for this night. no laughter, no tears, no fear, no anger... nothing, except... How much change God can make in one, 24-hr day. All day... all day, messages were inserted into my head one by one... by one... to prepare for a battle that began and ended in all but a 3hr span of time. The first message pierced through the surface... the second prepared me to learn about a certain personality trait that our Lord, Jesus Christ has... the third was more uncomfortable...

1. Chicken Catapult: The imagination of one priest can create a bit of understanding... this priest said to us in Sunday School, "I have a friend who thought all her problems... big and small were being caused by Satan... then I got a picture of Satan with a catapult... and he's putting chickens in there... and shooting them all around her, and they're all squawking gibberish and she's there panicking... I told her, directly, 'and he's shooting all these chickens, and you're just bending to a knee and cowering under the ruckus and hullabaloo over things that don't matter... and the enemy's over there with his catapult, laughing at you as you're overrun by fear... he doesn't HAVE to send demons under every rock for you, you're right under his thumb and he thinks it's hysterical... it's ridiculous!" That made a scratch and I was exposed to another relentless blow in the heart:

2. Vigilance: In the sermon, our Deacon Mike said something along the lines of, Imagine being one of the disciples, with Jesus... You have got to be on you're toes with Him... as they show Jesus the temple, pride and glorifying the handmade synagogue... You say; 'Look at this Lord, nothing could compare!' They believe Jesus is going to shake his head in awe and say; 'Yeah, it's awesome!' But, what they get is, 'Yeah... I have something to tell you... There will come a time when not two stones will be one on top another.' And if we are anything like the disciples we're going to want to know when these things will take place... we will want to know the signs... so we will be ready! ...When being a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ, we must be on our toes, because His answers are unexpected, and will hit us out of nowhere, and we must be prepared for the change.

3. Thanksgivings: As usual... Pastor Nowell stepped up to the stage, grabbed his bulletin and recited the prayers of the people... but I assume when the invitation for Thanksgivings came there was a resounding silence in the congregation(I didn't experience it, I am afraid, because I had left for a few minutes and came back to this...), he cut it off and did not continue the reciting... he looked at the congregation, with grief, passionate grief, and slowly convicted us, on the spot... "It is awkward when I invite thanksgivings and there is silence in the congregation." After a moment of letting that settle in he began quickening his tone; "Are we a church of praise? Or are we unwilling to give thanks to our Creator who gives every and all blessings? Our hearts seemingly overflow with thanks on Thanksgiving... but you know what I think? They're really not! I'm talking to myself, I'm talking to all of us when I say, I will give thanks just out of duty... but, I want you to realize... There are people in the world, this very moment... dying for this faith we confess! And I'm not saying that to make us feel better! This is a wake-up call! (What have we become?) Maybe I'm wrong... maybe thanksgivings are something to be dwelt on in silence... I'm willing to be wrong... I want to be wrong! But, what if a visitor came one day... and the invitation for thanksgivings is called and there is complete silence?! What will they think? What will that make us? What. example. have. we. set. there?" I stood out of the aisles of chairs, staring at him... I was gaping at him.... I was shocked! Hurt even! A silent whisper told me in my heart, "It's the truth. It's supposed to hurt." Within a fraction of a second my emotions mixed before my gaze... first, shock, then consideration, then outrage, then resignation, then I stiffened my lip as he said something else; "And so, instead of our usual invitation of intercessions, each of you have someone beside you, that needs a blessing, speak into their heart and it can be as simple as; 'may the God who does good works in you bless you this week.'" Everyone had a partner and I stood there, alone... and back in shock... then I let my gaze wander through the entire congregation.. it seemed everyone had a partner.... but, there was one young lady... (trying not to cry right there) alone.... stiff as me.... I went after her.... I was speechless... a quick muttered, 'may God bless you...' and it wasn't even heartfelt.... she smiled... but, she was sad... she said it was business... but she was heavyhearted... and I just gave a lifeless blessing.... She doesn't know this... and right now... it's a terror right in the front of my mind.... what have I become?

After that... I humbly went into the intercessory prayers... after communion.... and asked for prayer... strength and humility to break my pride..... I didn't know what I was asking at the time...

Came home... all fired up... masked euphoria... "Yay, great Sunday!" I said... and I was prepared mercifully for the 4-5 battle to come... but, I wasn't noting it taking place... slowly... I gave into despair, anger, rage, bitterness and vengeance and within one second everything went out... A brother had to deal with a spirit of rage and anger toward a God who dared hurt my heart that opened the door for more darkness and a full-blown demon came... I was a fool... and I lashed out; "Stoppit" I screamed... I didn't want God... "God isn't love" I said!!! I never cared! I don't know how it blew up to that! But 5 times the Name, the Name, the Name-- and it continued with a bang!Until I was down on the floor, cracked and snapped... In shock, once more...

I tried to arm myself one more time... Gotta tell daddy... It went by so quickly and loudly and don't even know what we were talking about... cuz it wasn't about what I did... It was me being uptight... anxious... and then, the passive and serene shield I try to put up there disappeared.... And I fell hard again..... Apathy was the repercussion.... I became depressed, tried to convince myself I was filth enough to kill myself, but still trying to hope.... and have reasons to stay... , thanks to my Mother Berserker, I was kept alive.... then it was in the silence I engulfed myself in that God spoke to me... I'll close with this;

I opened to a song to speak to me... and then an overflow of that artist singer, which led to a song with one verse that stood out the most... "Trust in Me. Keep your life free from what the love of money will do... Am I not enough for you?" And I sat there, dumbfounded... And realized... I've only tithed once in my life... Everyone thinks that testing God is a sin. Period. But, there is one thing that he actually invited us to test him on the promise that if you give a little to Him it will return in more bountiful ways than what keeping the money can give you, cuz once you keep it, that's all you have... And ten it's lost...Reminds me of those servants... The two who gave a little and then came back double, the master told him "well done, good and faithful servant." But to the one who dug it in a hole and could not find it... To him he said, "depart from me!". It combined the entire message that I was too proud to see in one verse in a song. In thanksgiving, we give unto God, we trust and He blesses and with the blessings He pours to the brim... it must overflow to bless others.

In Christ forever and always...
A Heart Who Waits


Trust in Me, Keep your life free, From what the love of money will do Am I not enough for you? (Chorus) Never will I leave you, That's something I'll never do. Forever remember that it's true, Never will I leave you. When you fear, The scars and tears. Remember what I have sworn, I'll be with you through the storm. (Chorus) And when you fear, That's when I'm near. Your soul's security, When will you believe? (Chorus) Never will I leave you... --Michael Card "Never Will I Leave You"

Joy Upon the Lord and the Power of YAWEH!

A very fruitful church service... and Sunday school was insightful too... :) in Sunday school we covered visions, and the difference between them and dreams... We learned that the place between waking and sleeping is where we are open most to God's voice.  The sermon was on Luke 21:5-19 and this stood out to me:

-cults are attractive
-these thing _must_ happen, but there is no need to be terrified.
-stress & fear can make us forget Jesus' assuring promise.
-persecution of believers have escalate... since the year, 2000 there have been more than a million believers martyred or persecuted
-do not fear do not hate, God _will_ give us words of truth...
-like a child who awaits Christmas, we are to look forward to what is to come...
-we are not wishing our lives away by exciting over Heaven... we are longing for the life ahead.

then we had a pop sermon from our worship pastor, Nowell, who aimed to convict us to give thanks to God... it was amazing...

Plenty of topics I struggled with, this week were resolved... and I felt that my relationship with God was right, and so, I went for the weekly communion, with a light heart... Went into intercessory prayer... and confessed my pride and asked for prayer for the strength to overcome... was anointed with oil... and was able to sing and be filled with joy...

And what with all my sweet girls throwing arms on me and complimenting me on my hair and sweater, I left with a more lifted spirit. Many compliments for my insight as well... And folks' adoration of the cute kitty, birdhouse, and pine tree sweater, and many laughs about heavy bags for sleepovers, and how it compared to the weight of our friend, Sam's bass guitar... and my, little moose, Rachel playful, aiming to "maime me" with the case... and not to mention my dear "adopted" brother-like cousin guy's cuteness as he gave me his email and I sent The Alchemist's Sanctuary... then visiting Gramma and seeing my adoptive Grandmother and then coming home... and meeting a very nice family, there whom Aneira played with...I can honestly say I'm feeling quite good about life...

Let's not forget that GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME! AND ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD! I am very blessed, even though I have been struggling... leaving the past where it belongs...in the past... and living in the today, and longing for the future!

Peace out and rock on!
Miss "Red Mystery Halo" Arianna Scriptsmith

(oh! got a new nickname, from my moose, Rachel...you can mostly see brown in my hair, but when the light casts on it... it makes this mystery halo-ish glow... :3)

Never Forget [but always forgive...]

In 09/11/01 I was 8 years old... I remember that mum was pregnant with my lil sister at the time. I remember seeing thew horrors on the screen and thinking it was playing just like a film... I was very little and saw that many were dying and leaping to their deaths...

That's why when Obama goes on saying it wasn't an act of war, I am infuriated... with a righteous anger. It minimizes the wrongs we've had brought to us. These were sisters and brothers of the human race... of every gender, age, race, coulour. And hearing how Obama says it wasn't an act of war... just is infuriating and wrong to assume...

Don't minimize the sin they committed... but always forgive... There is a fine line between forgiveness and plain out minimizing the wrong... Forgiving those who have wrong you greatly makes it more beautiful to the Lord... for He forgave all unrighteousness... He never minimized it... that's what makes it so blindingly beautiful to be forgiven and called the children of God.

Never forget.... But, that doesn't mean never forgive.....

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’  But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.  For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so?  Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect. ~Matthew 5:43-48~

Never forget, never surrender, always remember, always forgive,

Arianna Scriptsmith ☧

Knocked Down? Then Get up!

“If you stand up and be counted, from time to time you may get yourself knocked down. But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again. A man flattened by conformity stays down for good.”  

~Thomas J. Watson Jr.~

Whoa... I started this post in March! A lot has happened since then... what used to be telling you about cleaning my room, switching wattpad and facebook accounts has turned into MOVING TO ANOTHER HOUSE!!!! I am struggling to keep up with several projects at one time...packing, organizing, writing for 2 challenges(had to drop one though) and a novel to boot! I have a new Wattpad account that I named this blog after:



Also, I'm bringing my ministry back up! I have been scared, however.... What with my Gramma throwing up blood a couple of weeks ago... the Boston bombs.... and an irrational fear of Truth....I know I need to "put on my big-girl pants" (as a very firm friend has been constantly telling me) and do what's right because sitting on the fence is becoming too cowardly.... I have been falling away from the Word.... and I have been too scared to reach out for God.... I know of all things I could be doing....internet isn't the best thing for me.... but I don't want to get out.... Prayer would be much appreciated....


I'm at a standstill with my Scripture, homeschool,  and guitar, (the solutions I've come up with are getting back into the word homeschool co-ops, and getting back into guitar...) Writing's a great struggle...I'm beginning to wonder if I'm made for this at all.... Beads are just non-existent....but I am collecting bottles....how great, huh?

My loverly bottle collection...... xD

In Christ Alone,
Ari

P.S. How do you like my new template?

Is God Good? - Rejoicing Even in the Trials!

Is God good? Why do even His children suffer? Death always makes an unexpected visit...even before the grave. Forced to taste death even from our first cry. So, again...is our God good? How can He be good in all this suffering? Well, in  a small mini-series, I shall try to answer these questions starting with Rejoicing Even in the Trials!;

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. --James 1:2-3

God loves each of His children, but that doesn't mean He's gonna buckle down and take all our trials away. We need to be able to transform into the likeness of Christ, and we can only do that through the testing of our faith.

"It's not your situations that needs to change...you need to change!" --Mike Donehey

For all the trials that come to us goes through God's hands first... But fear not He knows what will mold you, and how to hold you... So, be enduring, learn the patience that God is teaching you in the classroom of LIFE! Allow Him to prepare your spiritual endurance and stamina through the flames of trials...soon you will be as refined gold!

[Side Note: I know the pain of the trials as much as the next person. I am not saying that I am all better because of this...on the contrary, I am speaking to myself as much as I am to you. I struggle daily with faith. Makes you wonder sometimes...if I truly know what I'm doing...and the truth of the matter is...I'M CLUELESS! Hallelujah that there is grace, right? And in the midst of these Words of Faith....I'm just allowing the Truth to wash over me... Because usually, I hide in the muddy-gloop of sin's lies instead. I've never been one to stand firm and be true on my own volition. Sometimes, I even wonder if I truly have God in my heart... But, the point in me saying this is...I know what it's like and by experience, I hope to learn to exercise what I know!]

In Christ Alone,
Ari

To the Shattered Hearts

My name is Melody Gael, I created this blog for those whose hearts have shattered, like broken glass scattered in pieces on the floor. I hope this ministry will uplift and encourage you to be strong!

I wrote this just now. I was inspired by an incident, which made me self-destruct, like a maddened robot! A special thank you to my friend, Eli, for holding me accountable. And this is dedicated to my dear beloved sister, the Starlit Knight!

Have you ever felt that inward pain?
Crying out in the tears of the rain?
Do you trust that when your sins are lain (on Christ)
You will have an everlasting flame?

And the bloodstained marks shall take form
Making you bleed and feel like a worm
Do you need love when your heart is torn?
If you do, will you be forlorn?

And the fear shall dilate these eyes
When you see yourself and make up lies
Can you break through these darkened ties?
Run to Him who shall give you life?

Have you ever felt that inward pain
Be washed clean by His healing rain?
Putting your trust in Christ, the Great Flame
Soon your heart too shall blaze, untamed

Realize when you are pinned to the ground by the shadows of doubt, and the flames of dying hard, you are loved, and you are more than those lies!

Healing a shattered heart,
Melody Gael