Soundwaves Story Wednesdays - Behind the Scenes of "The Shattered Wine Glass"

Peace out and rock on!
--Arianna Scriptsmith

Soundwave Story Wednesdays - Spread the Peace

Hello and welcome to yet another  Soundwave Story Wednesday! Today's theme is on being children of peace unto a world of chaos! Today, I don't have the video for this song, but it's Instuments of Peace by David Kauffman. It can be found on the Millennium Worship 2 Album on the 2nd disk

"Lord make us instruments of your peace Where there is hatred let your love increase Lord make us instruments of your peace Walls of pride and prejudice shall cease When we are your instruments of peace 

Where there is hatred, we will sow His love; Where there is injury, we will never judge. Where there is striving, we will speak His peace To the people crying for release; We will be His instruments of peace. 

Where there is blindness, we will pray for sight; Where there is darkness, we will shine His light. Where there is striving, we will bear their grief To the millions crying for release; We will be His instruments of peace."

Yesterday, I remembered a brother in the faith. Yes, I still consider him as a brother even though he might not consider me to be his sister, but he was finding it difficult to be held in peace. His bitterness, fear and wounds became hatred. I hold him up as an example, because, that is where our place is. Our call is to be the ambassadors of Christ, because we might just be the only bible that anyone will ever see. We could very well be the brush that God wants to use to paint over the greys in their life. If we'd only sacrifice ourselves to be so.

There are so many who are in darkness. So many imprisoned souls, out there. Those who willingly lock themselves up, when the gate has been opened for many, if they'd only know that it was. But they enjoy the dark. They obsess with fighting against it. They ever even realize that sometimes the best thing to do is just step out of the situation. We, as the Light of the World, should be the ones to aim to guide them. God very well may have a plan through our obedience and witness. Don't discount yourself.

Let us open our own eyes, wake ourselves up to the others who seek. Let us stand to reflect the light of Christ. Let us be the unified Bride of Christ in peace. It is not an option, we will be known by our love, so it is a commandment. Love one another here in the Earth. Because when it's all said and done, that's all that will matter.

Soundwave Story Wednesdays - Start With Forgiveness

 

Last night, everything was movin’ so fast I could barely keep track Of my offenses or your defenses In hindsight, I woulda, coulda, shoulda not gone there But left without a word to spare Was it your offenses or my defensiveness?

I have a friend that I adopted as a twin brother of sorts. Often times he and I were at each other's throats. There was pride on both of our sides. Words said, deeds done that only tore us further apart. Many times our words would haunt at least myself every night...I never knew who was worse in an argument... but, now I realize we both monstrous to one another.

That’s got me thinkin’ that we’re never gonna get it right I wanna straighten this before the sun goes down tonight If I could only fight the bitterness I feel inside This thing is eatin’ me alive 

There were times bitterness took me over, but then I'd soften up for another blow in a tender spot. I really didn't enjoy hating him, I'd pull out rather quickly... and try again, and again....and again. But every word I said to him and every word he'd speak to me began eating me to the core... any good or bad thing said would do it... and it always reversed back to me... "How dare he? Well, I'll show him, and I'll screw me! ...it must be me... I'm the curse." that cycle only ate me away more and more and...I'd became a right terror! I'd lash back like an injured badger, trying to ward off attacks with vindictive strikes. I'd pull him down by his weaknesses.

Well I’m right here And you’re right there And God knows we’ve got to start somewhere ‘Cause I’m messed up And you’re broken And those shots we fired are still smokin’ 

When I'd pull out of the bitter attacks I'd weep and my heart would finally catch up with my head, and I'd be reaching out to him, "I've got to change this, before the sun sets on another death..." I wanted reconciliation, I hated the dragging down the two of us were doing to each other in degrading words, in my playing with his fears, I hated it! We were not portraying Christ in what we did... eye for eye, tooth for tooth... next we knew... we were blinded and toothless.

I’m tossin’ and turnin’ on the things I’d undo As I wrestle with the painful truth My sleep escapes me as guilt berates me Exhausted, the memories are drawing so near I can see it like a world premiere When did my objective lose all objectiveness? 

I'd stay up night after night, crying, aching, and begging God to lead me to forgive him and help me to make things right with him... I wanted to overcome this evil, this bitterness, the division... I wanted to show him that truly there was a light and hope... and that was Christ... it was one thing to know it... it was a whole nother thing to live like you know it... I wanted to shine light and hope on him and be the woman that God wished me to be.

If I need you, and you need me How can you turn your back and just leave me? When I’m right here, and you’re right there And God knows we’ve got to start somewhere 

Several times we'd cut each other and a pain would always take over... but, every time we did, I'd pray, and remember that I've been through other friendships like this, and now those friendships are in brighter days.... continuously I'd reach out to him... as I do with every friend.

I said some things that I regret And if I could, I’d take ‘em back If I could turn my words around You wouldn’t hear a sound But here I am, and there you are The space between us is not so far I’m reaching out my hand in love Before the fading sun, forgive me for what I’ve done

I'd constantly reach down to him, chance after chance. I sometimes don't understand why I do it. I only know one thing... I didn't want to be tortured by bitterness or anger, and I wanted to be his friend... and if I was going to be his friend, I might as well start pulling up my end to make it a productive friendship... Even with him asking me why I'd stay his friend after his treatment... I have no answer for him, the ones I give him can't be the true down deep answer... but, really, I was just as bad... even with my therapist asking me if it bothers me how much work I have to put in this relationship... I must say, I'm quite used to it, I often am the hardest worker in a relationship, and I'm happy to be... I have found some rewards in working so hard... and anyway...we all need mercy, we all need grace, we all need forgiveness....

READ MATTHEW 6:12&14-15

Solemnly in Christ,
Arianna Persephone Scriptsmith

Joy's Lament... Soundwave Story Wednesdays

I'm starting a Wednesday Project of Soundwave Story Wednesdays, where I  elaborate on them with stories in it, that I've seen.

Today, I'm going to post some lyrics of a song that helped me through the years known a "Job Suite" by Michael Card...and the story is about myself.

Blameless and upright, a fearer of God A man truly righteous, no pious facade One about whom God was accustomed to boast And so one whom Satan desired the most One day the accuser came breathing out lies "It's Your holy handouts, his faithfulness buys" In one desperate day his possessions were lost His children all killed in one raw holocaust His children all killed in one raw holocaust

As a young child, I was raised upright, and was very true to it. I hated to lie, to hide, to run, I never masked myself, and was very close to the Lord. But, as my teen years began creeping in, we lost our house due to bankruptcy. I lost several friends I "adopted" as daughters, and sons... they went their own way and into their own darkness. It was a hard memory... but they were 4 kids who called me their "mummy". I forgot about it, but I watched them pull away and go into some bad things, and lost contact with them. I forgot about it, cuz I stowed it way deep inside. Their names were Sarah, Bekah, Ceirra & Figment homeschooling or online game friends.

Once more the Deceiver denounced and decried "It's skin for skin, and hide for hide, Strike down his flesh and he'll surely deny And confess that his praying has all been a lie." "Very well, take him," the Holy One sighed But you must spare his life, my son shall not die So Job was afflicted with terrible sores Sat down in the ashes to wait for the Lord Sat down in the ashes to wait for the Lord

When I was in these new apartment, I'd often get abscesses, had a lot of pains in my ankles and body, I often shook very violently and was often getting chills, a lot of tremors, and lost the ability to have my monthly. I'd be going to the doctors and lost a lot of my health, sometimes my digestive system was faulty and making me very ill. I'd moan a lot... and it got worse, sending a lot of doubts in my mind... I'm just now in my healing process in my body, mind and spirit and I can feel the slow change.

A throne of ashes A crown of pain A sovereign of sorrow A mournful reign May the day of my birth be remembered no more May darkness and shadow come and claim it once more Why did I not perish on that dreadful day And sleep now where kings and counselors lay What I dreaded most has now come upon me Why is light given those in misery? I loathe my own life, so my tears fall like rain As I find that there is no peace in my pain

There were long years through my late teens to now where I lost all hope. I wanted death and often tried. I felt like it wasn't worth all this... I didn't understand why I had to live. I hated my entire existence. God, family and friends barred my way and there were times I set dates that I'd kill myself, but then met new friends that made me want to continue... 

Lord, send a Comforter now to my door So that this terror will frighten no more A Counselor between us, to come bear my oath Someone who could lay a hand on us both These friends of mine are no comfort to me So deafly they listen, so blindly they see Their words and their doctrine, they all sound so true The problem is Lord, they're all wrong about you!

I'd beg God, beg anyone to comfort me, to stop the terrors playing out in front of me. Often times in my life, even well into my childhood there were folks who were friendly but never were real friends... We had been kicked out of churches saying we were a disruption. I was bullied more in church than in my own schools. They'd tell us the ways we could be forgiven, how we could heal, and how to earn our grace... they sounded like truth, but I always knew my God was more than that... He was loving and caring and never would demand works to earn His grace. I knew it was unbiblical and they were all lying...

I know my Advocate waits upon high My Witness in heaven sees the tears that I cry A true intercessor who will condescend To plead with God as a man pleads for his friend If I've been untrue, if I've robbed the poor If I'm without guilt, what am I suffering for? God would not crush me for some secret sin And though He slay me still I'll trust in Him

But, doubts still ran through my mind and I felt conflicted... what if they were right? But what I know they aren't, but what if God does want to punish me? Am I truly evil? Am I truly nothing to Him? Tears, agony, and the hurt would overflow to a knife and still reaching out... Folks thought I was possessed... they believed I was evil and God could never forgive me... so I took on all that identity for myself and on myself... made some folks believe what I believed and yet they still aimed to help, I didn't know what I could do... I thought I was lower than dirt. but I still kept deciding, redeciding and deciding again that I'd trust God.

I know now that my Redeemer's alive He'll stand on this earth on the day He arrives And though my own body by then is no more Yet in my flesh I know, I'll see the Lord I'll see the Lord, I'll see the Lord

There were moments I'd stand in victory and cry that I'd stand in Him, I knew He'd come again for me... I knew that whether or not I'd live or die... I'd see Him and I knew that'd be my only one desire then, but I still fell and felt horrible... the conflict still tore at me, and I'd roar in the battles I was in...

Who is it that darkens my counsel? Who speaks empty words without knowledge? Brace yourself up like a man And answer me now, if you can Can you put on glory and splendor? What's the way to the home of the light? Does your voice sound like the thunder? Are you not afraid? Where were you when earth's foundations were laid? Who gave the heart its wisdom? The mind its desire to know? Can you bind the stars? Raise your voice to the clouds? Did you make the eagle proud? Will the ox spend the night by your manger? Did you let the wild donkey go free? Can you take leviathan home as a pet? If you merely touched him, you'd never forget Who is it that darkens my counsel? Who speaks empty words without knowledge? Brace yourself up like a man And answer me now, if you can

There was a long time that God came and taught me the meaning of following. And all He'd do was ask questions to spark me to think things through. He'd warn, convict, encourage, and strengthen. His exhortation through His word, my family and friends, and through my own experience would calm me in times of trials. I'd stumble and fall away but I made the decision to never walk away, though it looked wayward to me and a few friends, He kept me under His wings...

I am unworthy, how can I reply? There's nothing that you cannot do You are the storm that calmed my soul I place my hand over my mouth I place my hand over my mouth 

Once realizing the truth behind His words, I'd yield and remain silent, and recommit to the task... aiming to be a better follower.

READ JOB 42:10-17

I still have hope in the blessing of Heaven. And am aiming so hard to press forward... still go on a merry-go-round in this world... but I will never walk away from Him.

Solemnly in Christ,
Arianna Persephone Scriptsmith